The book Chronicles illustrates the genealogy and journeys of some of the most powerful kings in the history of Israel. These were men of preeminence and deep faith and prayers. However, one of the most powerful prayers from a peasant is recorded in 1 Chronicles 4:10. Although he is from the descendants of Judah, there is no reference to his father, only a mother who suffered deep sorrow bearing him; hence, the name Jabez. verse 9 the writer described Jabez as having better qualities than his brothers, which is noteworthy. One might think that he would go about life feeling sorry for himself because he is less known than his brethren. However, this did not hinder Jabez from showing up and making bold requests of God. He must have read the accounts of the power of God and the miracles he wrought in the lives of the patriarchs and his forefather. Jabez understood how tapping into that power can give him the recognition he was probably yearning for.
Today, God takes pleasure in answering our bold prayers. Let us get into His presence and give Him those things that are impossible for man to do. Let us add unshakeable faith to our prayers!
God created us whole. However, when Adam and Eve wandered from God, it created spaces in their lives. (Genesis 3:6-10). Today, many of us have spaces in our lives resulting from the brokenness that is caused by our separation from God, our Creator. His plan is to redeem man back to Him. Hence, the reason Christ came into the world is to exchange His life for ours. This is because of the Father’s great love for us. (John 3:16-17). Some spaces that were created in our lives are:
Space for love – God is love and those of us who love know God. (1 John 4:8).
Space for the community – Caring for the poor, widows, and orphans. (James 1:27)
Space for togetherness – Being on one accord, praying and supporting each other (Hebrews 10:25)
Space for confession and repentance – (1 John 1:9)
Space for work – God gave man work to take care of his responsibilities. Psalm 128:1-2
Space for marriage – it was never God’s intention for man to be alone. (Genesis 2:21-24)
Space for holiness – Spending time in God’s presence(1 Peter 1:16)
Space to settle disputes – God wants us to settle our disputes with those who might have offended us. (Matthew 18:15-17)
Heavenly Father, you made us whole, and it is your purpose for us to experience wholeness in our lives. Please come into our hearts and fill all the spaces in our lives. Amen!
Genesis 3:9 records the first questions asked in the history of man: “And the Lord God called unto Adam and said unto him, Where art thou? (Genesis 3:9). God did not pose this question to Adam because He needed knowledge of his whereabouts. God, who created man, knew where he was and that he had sinned. He knew where Adam was physically, mentally, and spiritually. However, he did this in love, creating an opportunity for Adam to acknowledge his guilt, ask for forgiveness, and repent. Since there is a penalty for sin, it behooved Adam to accept the consequences of his actions. Adam, in his defense, ignored the question and in (Genesis 3:10), instead complained of being naked and afraid, hence his reason for hiding. The ever-loving and patient God followed up with two more direct questions: Who told thee that thou were naked? Have thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? Adam tried to deflect the questions however, God was specific with these questions, and these elicited a forthright response. Adam found himself placed on the spot! Before now, he had enjoyed open fellowship and communion with God, however; he was hiding from Him because of disobedience. What caused Adam to think he could hide from God now? Was it because of shame, guilt, and fear of facing the consequences of his actions, or was it because he thought he could outwit God by talking his way out of his situation? Many of us today still think that we can outwit God. We tell ourselves that God will understand and overlook our disobedience.
ADAM FACED THE CONSEQUENCE OF HIS SIN
Adam knew he could not hide from the all-seeing God. He knew where Adam was, yet He reasoned with him as a good parent would. He wanted him to consider what he had done, the reason, and the impact of his action. Adam faced the dilemma of taking responsibility for his actions by acknowledging he had sinned, repenting, and seeking God’s forgiveness. Therefore, Adam had a second chance to redeem himself by speaking the truth. However, Adam had this element of pride that led him to continue cloaking his sin while assigning the blame to Eve, his wife. (Genesis 3:12) And the man said, The woman whom thou gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate. His response implied that Adam blamed God for giving him Eve, hence the reason he had sinned. This was a slap in the face of a loving God who created the world and placed him in charge of all His creation. Adam was rightly the king of this earth but yielded his position of influence to the devil because momentarily he forgot who he was and where he was. Hence, the excuse that he was naked and afraid appeared puerile. Why was he naked when before in the righteousness of God covered him and he did not know of what being naked was? The pleasures of sin are temporary and often leave us with an incessant feeling of emptiness. Adam unwittingly relinquished his regal robe for a life of slavery and poverty. Today, we continue to do the same thing when disobeying God’s law, sit back, and refuse to take advantage of the untold opportunities that are available to us. We often fall short because of failure to commit to a plan that will help us get to our end goal. A plan that will drive us to accomplish more, thus improving our lives and that of others. An idle mind leads to poverty of both mind and means. Get moving!
STOP BLAMING
Like Adam, many of us have made a mess of our lives and are feeling bare and alone. Instead of acknowledging that we have fallen off course and trying to get back on track, we avoid taking charge of our lives because we would rather live a lie than face the truth. Often, we blame others for our predicament when the power lies within us to fulfill the yearnings of our hearts. For this to happen, you must be honest about where you are now, and how you got there, and be willing to take ownership of all the poor choices you have made. It’s interesting, like Adam, some of us blame God for the poor decisions we have made, which is very selfish. It is time for you to stop blaming your parents, grandparents, children, siblings, spouses, ex-partners, extended family, boss, friends, enemies, and circumstances for your stagnation. Admit that your life is in the trenches that you have created, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Every good company does stock-taking quarterly, semi-annually, or annually to determine their stock levels and get rid of those that are unprofitable and occupying space. They also divest those which are obsolete or just breaking even. Like growing companies, every individual must take stock of their life’s assets and liabilities. We must discharge our liabilities by ridding ourselves of those skills that are dormant, dead-end jobs, relationships that break our souls, and negativity that hold us, hostages. These are unprofitable and deplete us mentally, physically, and emotionally. We must make room for that free flow of goodness in our lives which we desire and deserve. For this to materialize, we must be audacious and possess a willingness to learn new skills and work hard to accomplish our dreams. It is also important to work on our physical and mental health by nourishing our minds and body with healthy foods and uplifting thoughts. There is hope for you and it is never too late to attempt a fresh start. Let’s look at some solutions to get you to that place where you want to be.
STOP MAKING EXCUSES
Many of us have abandoned our dreams because of being suppressed by others who do not understand, appreciate, or constantly diminish our worth with harsh criticisms. Feelings of loss and hopelessness often set in as we try to placate them by accepting the lies, they often tell us about ourselves. As a result, we often become stuck with the crowd with no sense of direction or purpose. Most times, we think we are living when we are barely existing. It might be helpful if we contemplate these questions: Where am I? how did I get here? What am I afraid of? What is it I need to do right now? As you remain calm, the answer to the escape route from the prison that others have boxed you in will come when your mind enters a peaceful state.
Often, the emptiness we feel deep on the inside results from living an unfilled life. Although we know what to do, we lack the determination to follow through. Often, we make excuses like these; it is too late, I can never do this, it’s never going to happen for me, no one will hire me because I’m too old or I have the wrong gender, race/ethnicity or I am not smart enough. These are the lies that we keep telling ourselves from year to year as we try to justify our reasons for being idle rather than working harder to accomplish more. Some of us are downright lazy. We want others to do for us that which we are unwilling to do for ourselves. Each year we watch our peers and colleagues pursue advanced degrees and promotions, take on entrepreneurial pursuits, vacation, or improve their lives overall. We secretly envy their success while we have the same opportunity to improve our livelihood. We often procrastinate by failing to seize the opportunities that are open to us that will get us to where we know we must be. It is time to develop a new mindset of positivity and creativity and start working right where you are now.
GET BACK ON TRACK
Life is like a maze. To navigate our way through it, we need a purpose, passion, a plan of action, and persistence. Your purpose is the primary goal in life. It comprises what you want to accomplish and the reason. Passion is the fuel that lights that fire in you and pushes you out of your comfort zone to blaze the trail that is yours. Persistence means pressing forward despite difficulties, setbacks, threats, and failures because deep within you know you were born for this and that this is what you want to do with your life. The plan of action is the strategies you will develop to get you to your end goal. Get a sheet of paper or a word document and write or type:
· What do I hate about my life right now?
· What should I be doing at this moment?
· What do I need to change?
· What is preventing me from changing?
· Write a plan of action
· Set measurable goals; daily, weekly, monthly, or every six months.
You might discover that you are multi-talented or that you have a childhood passion that is worthwhile revisiting. Also, when we search deeply, we will unearth things we hate and find the courage to step away from them while moving toward those things that we love. Once we identify them, it becomes necessary to write a plan of action to get this done. When you have established the criteria, you can set goals that are smart and measurable. Evaluate your goals weekly, monthly, or every six months to keep up with any progress that you have made or to determine what is working and what is not.
Sometimes you may experience difficulties that will deter you from your purpose. However, do not give up. Instead, enlist the help of trusted friends, a spouse, acquaintances, or extended family members. If this fails, then hire a life coach, read a motivational book, or research from the millions of resources that are available on Google and other search engines. Remember, you are not alone in this. There are millions of people all over the world who have been in the same position as you and took that leap of faith to create the life that matters most to them. Some have even given up high-flying careers with very attractive remunerations. There is happiness and fulfillment when you find your true calling. It gives you something to smile about at the start of each day because you find pleasure in what you are doing, hence it makes it easier for you to stay committed. We should live our lives in such a way that everything we do brings joy and balance.
Start where you are right now! Stop complaining about the life you now have when you’re empowered to do something about it. Nobody can do this for you. Muster up that inner strength that will motivate you to take the actions necessary to fulfill your God-given purpose. God wants to help you. Talk with Him today and allow His Holy Spirit to direct your steps! (Proverbs 3: 5-7)
A good past is like a big comfortable armchair that is always inviting and relaxing. Once you step into that familiar place and experience comfort and safety, it is hard to trade it for the unknown. Often when faced with difficulties or things not working out as planned, we are quick to revert to the past because it is familiar.
An example would be a young bride who realizes that marriage requires work and might opt to return to the comforts of home. We pray for promotions and deliverance, yet when challenges arise, we become discouraged and want to retreat to the safety of the past. Although there is some comfort in what is familiar, there is no growth there. Changes are necessary for life because we develop through them. The children of Israel are a prime example. They were in bondage in Egypt for 430 years and they spent most of their time crying out to God for deliverance from their captivity. God sent Moses, His servant, along with Aaron, his brother, to deliver them. Through a series of miraculous events, they miraculously left Egypt and journeyed through the Red Sea. Everything was going well; they had manna from heaven that rained daily and water to drink. God preserved their clothing and their sandals. The moment they faced a challenge, they murmured and complained about Moses, who risked his life for them. (Exodus 15:22-27).
God expects us to grow and bear fruit. The challenges we face in this life prepare us for eternity. Challenges teach us self-discipline, denial, implicit trust, and unswerving faith in God and His promises. Many are afraid to explore new things because of the fear of failure. However, failure can become one of our biggest opportunities. We gain knowledge about what doesn’t work, and it builds our resilience to persevere through difficulties.
There is the popular adage “we are products of our environment”. Although this has an element of truth, our personalities keep evolving and we get to decide how we want to present ourselves to the world. However, we all have a dominant personality, and that does not change.
Have you ever considered what makes you unique to others? It is called personality, those special characteristics that define us. The Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia defines personality as behavior patterns, thoughts, and emotions that are distinctive to a person and how they interrelate to assist or inhibit our change to other individuals and circumstances. Various theorists have different ideas about what makes up personality and how our personalities develop. According to Freud, the characteristics of our personalities can be attributed to the environment we were born into. Our dominant environment shapes our personality for life. Feist, Feist, & Roberts (2018).
According to Hindle and Vaciago (1999), personality development starts in the womb. It continues throughout infancy and into adulthood where the emphasis is on the mental task that accompanies each stage of the development and the interaction of inner operations and outside conditions. It can be a difficult question trying to figure out how we became who we are. As Winnicott (1949/1958) said, every person is attempting a rebirth wherein their lifespan continues with a greater quantity of reaction rather than what is experienced without the loss of the sense of the progression of individual existence Hindle & Vaciago (1999).
Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, was a very prolific writer. As a result, he had become a highly important contributor to 20th-century thought. Freud postulates the Id is the centre of personality which is fully subconscious of the psychic region. Although the Id is far from reality, it attempts to lower stress by fulfilling primary needs. A newborn baby personifies the Id as free from the limitations of ego and superego. The baby seeks the satisfaction of needs with no notion of the possibility. Instead, it sucks whether the nipple is present or absent, failing to recognize that the sucking of its thumb cannot maintain life. Feist, et al. (2018).
Freud also said the ego is viewed differently when an infant knows how to determine himself from the external world. Although the id stays the same, the ego persists by developing strategies for dealing with the id’s impractical and relentless desire to be pleased. Sometimes the ego will control the id however, at other times it loses control. The ego must balance and restrain the id’s impulses however, it appears to be at the mercy of the powerful and disorganized id. The ego borrows its strength from the id and sometimes comes close to taking full control, for instance, during the prime of life of a psychologically mature person. Feist, et al. (2018).
Freud said most of the personality is subconscious and that we conceal many unlikeable facts about ourselves that are unpleasant by being defensive. Wishes, fears, disputes, beliefs, and unconscious memories also control us. The entire human nature is malevolent. Our inherent tendencies are erotic and hostile.
Like Freud, Jung’s theory of personality had its basis on the assumption that the mind has both conscious and subconscious levels. He differed from Feud in that he fully declared that the most noteworthy part of the subconscious came from the history of human existence instead of the individual’s personal experience. He called this concept the collective unconscious. Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, (2019). Although he believed the unconscious is highly important, he disagreed with Freud in many respects: Human nature is both good and bad. There are important instincts besides sexuality and aggressiveness (including individuation, the forerunner of the humanistic concept of self-actualization). Feist, et al. (2018)
There is a collective unconscious that contains archetypes, or inherited susceptibility to view the world in certain ways. Introversion/extraversion is a major aspect of personality. Psychopathology occurs when personality becomes unbalanced, as when we cannot develop important aspects of personality or overemphasize aspects that are contrary to our true nature. Ewen, (2009).
Jung’s concepts of introversion and extraversion came about after studying Freud’s and Adler’s theories. He agreed with them in some respect but had differing views in some areas. He referred to these two personalities as No. 1 being extraverted and No. 2 being introverted. He spoke about a period in his young life when he considered his personality introverted. However, when he contemplated the planning of his future profession and meeting other responsibilities, he became more extraverted. He remained extraverted until he experienced a personal crisis that caused him to revert to being an introvert. He mentioned too that the part of our personality that is not developed leaves way for the other to dominate Feist, et al. (2018).
Could it be possible that personality is interchangeable and can be switched on and off? This resonates with me because I have struggled in my life with periods of introversion and extraversion and at the different points when I interchanged them, I either experienced more happiness or was the least happy. I am more introverted when I am handling crises and feel the need to shut out the world to take care of me. I am sure that there are others who have similar issues. I often wondered why some people were so kind and easygoing, yet would flip personalities when faced with challenges. Jung’s rationale explains this. This has led me to the belief that personality is fickle, and it is possible for people to change their personalities like the weather changes. However, there is still one personality that predominates, the one who you mostly are at your deepest core.
Personality is a very complex one, despite the differing thoughts of many theorists. Although our personalities are shaped by the environment that we were born into and encompass all our behaviors it evolves, and we can nurture the personality that best defines us.
For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds;Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
We have often heard it said by pastors, theologians and Bible Scholars that we are living in a time in earth’s history where sin is pervasive, hence, it has become necessary for God’s people to pray more. The devil has escalated his attacks on God’s children in every area of their lives. Marriages are destroyed by the minute, homes and hearts are broken, and sicknesses and diseases claim many lives by the hour. It is not a time for God’s people to lie down their guard and allow the devil to steal their purpose and destroy their lives. He wants control of our minds, the powerhouse of our thoughts and emotions. He knows that if he can possess our minds; he has us. Therefore, he will bring sickness, death, diseases, confusion, fear, anger, bitterness and ruminating thoughts that are targeted at intimidating and manipulating us into surrendering to the darkness.
God’s people must be vigilant and run to Him for help when in danger instead of running to others who cannot help us. Sometimes the attacks can become severe and it can become disheartening, hence you might just want to relax and not do anything. Wrong! You are making the biggest mistake of your life. Your house is on fire and you need to strap on your armor; the word of God, the shield of faith, persistent prayers, praise and worship, and trust Him completely. We should also pray for others because God still does miracles and as we press into His presence daily and wholeheartedly, build a relationship of faith and trust in Him. He will answer our faithful prayers.
He knows what is going on in your body, in your marriage, at work, and with your children. He has the answer for all of life’s perplexities, including how to counteract Satan’s attacks. Whatever you are facing today, I encourage you to cling to Jesus in faith. Pray more and you will experience Him in ways you never imagined. Get up and Fight, Fight, Fight! No Retreat!
Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:
Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
We owe it to ourselves, our families, friends and posterity to break the negative patterns by choosing to evolve into the person we want to be. It is time for you to take that mammoth leap by standing up to the past and wrestling it to the ground through therapy, prayer and self-help because you’re powerful and strong!
Throughout history, people have grappled with their humanity. They are constantly seeking to improve their lives. As a result, they seek ways to harness their true potential that will elevate them to that realm of social and economic stability. They strive to gain a good education, great jobs, promotions, houses, and cars. However, at the center of this, they want to create strong family bonds with their spouses, children, extended family, and friends while creating balance and stability in their lives. Many have tried hard and although some have accomplished tremendous feats, they still cannot have meaningful relationships with anyone. The answer to this lies within themselves and they must dig deep to find it. To do so we all must ask ourselves this question: who am I? Have you ever stopped to ponder this?
Three years ago, I made a list of questions that I needed answers to and, at the top of my list, was this very question. I had written this in my diary but had forgotten about it. A couple of days ago, while wrestling with emotions, I felt impressed to revisit this question. While I pondered this, the following thoughts came to my mind and I would like to share them with you. We all have a past that is linked to the future we are trying to create. We can only experience real joy and happiness in our lives when we dig up the past, thoroughly investigate every finding and, are willing to attempt to fix anything that is broken.
Many children were abandoned by their parents while some were given up for adoption and they secretly loathe the parents whom they perceive never loved them. Others felt abandoned because their parents were emotionally unavailable or might have criticized them repeatedly. Deep down, there is a longing for that maternal or paternal attachment that was missing from their childhood. As a result, they wander throughout life aimlessly feeling like they do not belong. Hence, they strive to create this sense of belonging by joining groups, creating friendships or even starting a family while relying on them to give them that sense of worthiness. Others have become super achievers just to win men’s empty praises, which temporarily stokes one’s ego and creates a false sense of worth.
Sometimes we will desperately latch onto those who are empaths because of the positive energy they exude which awakens us. This can create an unnecessary strain on them because while they are fulfilling your needs theirs are unmet. Although you thrive on their energy sadly, their needs are ignored because you do not know how to reciprocate. Oftentimes this results in frustrations for the family member whether a spouse, sibling or even friends. You see there is not a single person who can fill the void in your soul. It is your responsibility to take the time to explore who you are, figure out what has caused that void in your life, how it is detracting you from your completeness as a person and get the help you need to steer you towards wholeness.
Some of us experienced severe trauma in our childhood from sexual abuse, physical abuse and psychological abuse. In most cases, this has led to addictions such as alcoholism, promiscuity, drug addiction, food addiction, low self-esteem and suicidal tendencies. Oftentimes, these wounds were inflicted by a teacher, religious leaders, family members or family friends and these have left scars that are buried so deep that even we ourselves cannot find them. Only with the help of a qualified counselor can these traumatic events be uncovered and dealt with over some time. Failure to do this will result in a missing YOU. Why do you continue to live with the altered version of yourself when you have the power to reclaim your individuality?
Despite how we view ourselves, we were created by God who loves and gave us mental faculties that are superior to that of animals. (John 3:16; Genesis 1:26-27) He also gave us gifts so that we can believe, think, dream, create, and live an abundant life that is free from fear and worry.
Our hearts are intricate organs that sit at the center of our chests. They keep us alive daily by pumping blood throughout our bodies as our heart beats. It sends blood, which provides oxygen and nutrients to every part of the body while carrying away unwanted carbon dioxide and waste products. (NHSInform.Scot).
A happy and joyful heart is like medicine. We must agree with the Psalmist David that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139.4). We serve a God who took the time to ensure that He gives us everything that we need in our bodies to function and live a healthy life. From our lungs that give us the air we breathe, our digestive organs that provide nourishment from the food we eat and our excretory organs, which play a vital role in removing toxic wastes from our bodies. We would not exist for long without the function of our hearts. Hence, we cannot help but serve God with a heart of gratitude, appreciation, thankfulness, and love.
We were given this amazing gift of life, therefore; it behoves us to think about what our hearts go through daily to sustain us. To show our appreciation, we should take it easy on our hearts by being kind to others. God gave us hearts to love and cherish each other, not to destroy them with cruel hate, bitterness and unforgiveness. When we are nasty, mean, unforgiving and unkind, we not only hurt other people’s hearts but ours too. Because the heart is the seat of all emotions, unhealthy thoughts place undue stress on our hearts, and they literally become hardened and restrict the flow of blood, which can cause blockages and result in death and disability.
Let us choose to forgive the way God has forgiven because to those of us who were given more of us, more is expected, especially those of us who are believers. Our lives are unhappy because we do not love the way God asks us to love Him with all our hearts and our neighbors as ourselves (Luke 10:27). Let your heart be at the center of everything you do. Serve with joy and gladness. This makes our hearts happier, and a happy heart means a longer life. Since you have it in your power to protect your heart, why don’t you adopt a gentler approach when dealing with others? After all, we are one in Christ and there is no segregation, discrimination, or annihilation. He is a God of love, justice, and equity for all His children, which includes you, me, and everyone on this planet. He created us to be a community to help those who are helpless, poor, needy, anxious, afraid, or lost their way. Let us emulate the love of God in our lives today and let others see your heart in everything you do.
I challenge you today to give someone a giant hug today. It could be a spouse, friend, family member or just a total stranger. Let your heart touch someone else’s heart today and let them feel that life force of abundant love flowing from your heart to theirs.
As you contemplate your life and God’s plans for you. May you find love, hope and encouragement in the words of this old hymn below, which I believed were spoken directly by God to Horatius Bonar in 1861 as he marvelled and reflected on GOD and the wonder of His love for us.
