Month: April 2022

Posted on by — Leave a comment

WHY AM I HERE? To fulfil my purpose

Born with a purpose

Some time ago I wrote a post titled, Who am I? Hopefully, most of us have already answered that question and are at least contemplating the next steps. I thought I would help you along the way by asking the next question, which is the second on my list from three years ago. Why am I here?

We are living in a very interesting time in earth’s history. One in which life appears to be moving at lightning speed with the help of technology. Coupled with this are the endless possibilities at one’s fingertip for living your life to the fullest. You are here because you are very special. You are here because you were born with a purpose. One that is so great that it will take a lifetime to accomplish. Let’s think about the circumstances of your being here, at this moment, in this world of chaos, strife, and uncertainties. Maybe you came about as the result of a one-night stand, or rape, or maybe your parents were deeply in love and the result is the resilient, beautiful, and awesome you!  

 The events of your life are important

It doesn’t matter how you came into this world. Whether you were born naturally or by other means, you survived nine long months in the womb and the trauma of the birth canal. You were determined to thrive therefore; you popped your head out right on time and cried. It was your way of announcing to the world that you were here and that you will not be silenced. Immediately, you had the attention of everyone who was running at your bidding, doctors and nurses, to pronounce you healthy. You had the biggest smile from your mama as she welcomed you into the world. Cradling you in her arms while swaddling you with love and the warmth of her breast. You grabbed hold of that breast and had your first meal outside of the womb. After all, you knew exactly what to do, because you were born with the intelligence to do so.

Preparation for life

 Welcome to the training ground of this life. You were born a baby, but we do not expect you to remain there. You were meant to explore your surroundings, become curious, question things, figure out how stuff works and earn social and relationship-building skills.  Humans were created to live harmoniously with each other and the universe by caring for each other and our environment. You are here because you have a purpose to be fulfilled.  What matters most is how you spend your time here and the legacy that you will leave for future generations.  We were not born to occupy space. We came fully equipped with everything that we need to function here on earth. God who created us gave us gifts, talents and a brain that is superior to all the computers that modern man can make.  He wants us to use our gifts and talents for the betterment of humanity. We are called to make an impact in this world; therefore, we should seek out those opportunities that are rewarding, honest, and efficacious and throw ourselves into them for the sole purpose of making the lives of the future generation better.

Pain with a purpose

We were created for God’s pleasure, and He delights in us and our sincere worship. However, He didn’t provide us with an all-expense paid pass in this life because He knows what is best for us. The joy and pains are measured to keep us on the path of righteousness and truth. Many of us have experienced intense pain and suffering in our lives at some point. These are just stumbling blocks on the way to greatness.  When we have endured the furnace of this life, it will equip us with the resilience that is necessary to help us spearhead and advance the cause that we are passionate about and for which we were chosen. You will have tribulations but be of good cheer I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

When your life has a purpose, you will experience pain. Most times the pain is unbearable, however, it brings forth joy as any mother will tell you. After hours of laboring, filled with anguish and excruciating pain, the voice of crying signals that a new life has sprung forth and that labor has ended. (John 16:21) The mother’s heart rejoices with love, gratitude and appreciation for this child that she carried for nine months and that is now the excellent fruit of her labor.  

 The testing

Similarly, college requires a series of exams that tests one’s competency at different levels. Although you went in as a Freshman they expect you to advance to the various levels,  Sophomore, Junior and eventually Senior. This is the most critical part of the journey because this is where the true test begins. There is a final exam and you will be tested on everything you have learned, hence the make-or-break moment. Many have persevered and received their rewards of accolades, honors, and awards, while others failed to make their mark because they simply were not prepared for college life. There is life after college that is filled with endless possibilities; advanced education, high-paying jobs, promotions, social and economic status, fame, fortune and maybe just about anything this world offers. Is this enough?

Our lives are not accidents

Nothing occurs in our lives by accident it was divinely appointed. Even the horrendous and evil things that were designed to destroy us. Although painful and vicious, they teach us persistence, patience, resilience and perseverance, which is the stock that great men and women are made of. When we study the Bible, we come across many great men and women who were severely tried and tested. Moses was an innocent child. He did nothing wrong yet because of Pharoah’s edict against all children under two years old, his life was in grave danger. His parents, through wisdom, placed their three months old son in a basket on the river. He was young and defenceless and to the human, his fate would be death from river monsters or drowning. However, God, who controlled all circumstances, send him help in the nick of time. His rescuer was not an ordinary person but the king’s daughter. She had compassion for him and raised him as a prince in the palace, which was prepared by God as a training ground for greatness. (Exodus 2: 1-10)

Paul the apostle prosecuted Christians with great zeal. This he did out of ignorance. God called him on the road to Damascus and he repented. He became one of the most influential ministers of the gospel, a prolific writer and proponent of the Gospel message. They also persecuted him with the same zeal he had when he oppressed God’s people. (Acts 22:1-10)

It doesn’t matter where you are on the path of life. Whether you are on the off-track, sidetrack, or beaten track, you are important and have so much potential. There is still time for you to accomplish the dream that was created for you by your Father, God. Here’s my hand. Let me help you along the way.

Posted on by — 2 Comments

PROCRASTINATION – delaying your life

Two men talking

We all fall prey to procrastination and within the last couple of months, I found myself in this rut where I didn’t want to write or do anything significant. Somehow I have built up my “resilience muscle” over the years because of the many difficulties I have encountered and have had to plough my way through. As I slowly turned the corner, my mind focused on those qualities that are unique to me. The word procrastination came to mind, and I felt impressed to do a bit of research into it. I realized that I have been putting off doing things because I am experiencing some difficulties in my life that had escalated and, although it has dampened my fire, I still maintained a faint glow. The situation is still present and persists. However, I have refocused my attention on doing those things that light up my soul. Enjoy the article!

 Procrastination is common to most people and is viewed as laziness or the inability to manage oneself. It is natural for people to avoid doing some things. However, procrastinators habitually put off tasks and often deliberately look for distractions. This shows the individual’s struggles with self-regulation. Approximately 20% of the population is habitual procrastinators. Often, their feelings will take precedence over pursuing their goals or responsibilities.  Procrastination creates the perfect condition for individuals to encourage negative emotions that can further undermine their future goals.

Procrastination also has an element of self-deception. There is a moment in which the procrastinator will recognize their actions and their consequences.  However, changing their habits is often more difficult than finishing the assignment in front of them. 

Understanding Procrastination

Procrastinators are often perfectionists. For them, it may be psychologically more acceptable to never take on a job than the possibility of not doing it well. It is common for them to become overly concerned with what others think about them hence; they endanger their future to avoid criticism. Although some procrastinators convince themselves that they do way better under pressure, there is no scientific evidence to substantiate this claim. However, they habitually wait until the last minute to complete a task because it gives them this rush of euphoria to overcome the odds.

Why do I procrastinate?

People are driven by varied thoughts and habits, but we shun work or delay them because we do not feel they are worth the time and effort and care more about being happy or being fearful of not doing a job well.  They might procrastinate when they are overwhelmed by all the complexities of a task, such as learning a new skill or when overly distracted or fatigued.

What are the psychological roots of procrastination?

Some of the influencers of procrastination recognized by psychologists are; low self-esteem, anxiety, lack of structure and the inability to motivate self to complete tasks deemed unpleasant. Studies have also shown procrastination’s close link to rumination or the fixation on negative thoughts. 

Consequence of Procrastination

Although procrastination may distract you from a task for a moment, it can have deep emotional, physical and practical costs later. Students who habitually procrastinate tend to score lower grades because they feel pressured at the last minute, hence underperform. Workers who procrastinate produce lower-quality work, and habitual procrastinators can expect a decline in their well-being as insomnia or immune system and gastrointestinal disturbance. Procrastination also threatens both personal and professional relationships.

Is procrastination bad for my health?

With one’s health – delaying exercise and physical checkups, and failure to commit to a healthy lifestyle can lead to a higher risk of hypertension and cardiovascular disease. Procrastinators are more prone to blame themselves and withdraw from wellness advice, suggesting that more self-compassion would be more beneficial in helping them care more for themselves.

Is there a link between procrastination and depression?

Procrastination, avoidance and rumination are all common symptoms of depression.  Depressed people struggle with future planning, lose confidence in their ability to follow through, and adopt “what’s the point “ thinking. The treatment approach is known as behavioral activation, in which one schedules enjoyable activities that provide a sense of mastery or accomplishment, which may help ease some of these effects.

Is it easy to overcome procrastination?

It’s possible to overcome procrastination, but it takes considerable effort. Changing a habitual behavior consumes a lot of psychic energy, but engaging in a highly structured regimen of cognitive behavioral therapy is one approach that has worked for many. In the short term, some cognitive tricks can help people complete discrete tasks.

How can I stop procrastinating?

Studies based on The Procrastination at Work Scale, which identifies 12 common forms of workplace procrastination, have highlighted some potential solutions, such as adopting timelines that build in time for delay, but not too much; making a personal challenge out of mundane tasks; breaking large jobs into achievable chunks you can celebrate completing, and limiting your access to online news and social media.

How can a procrastinator change their mindset?

When people procrastinate, their present self benefits by avoiding unpleasant work, but their future self pays the price in stress or punishment. Developing empathy for one’s future self as one would for a close friend can be an important first step to ending the habit because we’re less willing to put a good friend in such a disadvantaged position.

How can I stop putting off important decisions?

Many procrastinators struggle to make important decisions, in part because not making a choice absolves them of responsibility for the outcome. But sometimes people simply become so exhausted from making decisions that it seems impossible to make even relatively unimportant ones. Research suggests that sticking to a personal set of decision-making rules, or outsourcing some decisions to a partner, friend, or co-worker may help overcome decision fatigue.

Are you a procrastinator? Please leave your comments below.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/procrastination

Two people clasping hands
Posted on by — Leave a comment

choose happiness -the elixir of life

What is happiness?

Aristotle, the renowned Greek Philosopher said happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and the end of human existence.

Happiness is not a blank check on which you get to write any amount you want. For some people, the natural inclination would be to go out and blow it on some luxurious item that they think equates to being happy. Happiness is the elixir of life. It is a state of bliss where one experiences peace, enjoyment, fulfilment and calmness despite their circumstances. Many people have found it and are living their lives with purpose and meaning. However, some still do not know what happiness is and spend countless years chasing after it. They become fixated on the acquisition of more material goods, only to find themselves right where they started. Disillusionment often creeps in, forcing them to accept the notion that happiness is just an elusive dream. What they cannot realize is that material things are only temporary and do not bring long-lasting happiness.

Happiness is not a feeling. It is a choice that you make each day, followed by a determination to experience life in a new way by living uninhibited. It is a commitment that you make with yourself daily to walk on the path of happiness. Hence, upon awakening, you create the mindset to be happy despite the unforeseen that will always creep up to disrupt your plans and cause chaos. Cheerful people are always grateful and rarely complain about anything. Happiness is that state of mind you will achieve when you are in tune with your body – accepting of yourself, committing to goals and having a willingness to be content with whatever state you are in. It means loving yourself, your limitations, thankfulness, and striving each day to live a positive and fulfilled life.

Health Benefits of Happiness

When we are happy, our bodies respond positively by releasing healthy endorphins which are healing to the body and mind. Happiness prevents depression, sadness, outbursts of anger, envy, jealousy, and strife. When we operate from a place of happiness, it makes us more forgiving and accepting of other people’s flaws. Also, we love, respect, and show kindness and compassion to others. Happiness fuels our passion and love for life. It energizes us to get out of bed each morning to do the things that will create joy and well-being in our lives.

Happiness increases longevity and makes us look younger and longer. Our bodies function better when we are happy.  A calm and peaceful state optimizes digestion, hence our bodies receive the nourishment it needs from the foods we eat. When we are happy, it helps our parasympathetic nervous system to perform better. The functions of the parasympathetic nervous system are monitoring and effectively maintaining our heart rate, blood pressure, weight control, and hormone regulation, and allowing us to have that deep REM sleep the body needs for healing and repair.

Pursuing Happiness

Happiness is like a well springing from deep inside the ground, flowing outward and providing a continual stream of water. Happiness is invigorating and exuberant. Since we are in control of our happiness, we must work hard at creating and maintaining it. To do this, we must begin by taking the time to discover our gifts, talents, and passions and actively pursue them. For some, it will mean letting go of bad habits, parting ways with some close ties, or even breaking off toxic long-term relationships. Since we can only realize happiness when we are at total peace, these steps are necessary. This will be a period of enlightenment as we become reacquainted with our innate selves. Many of us have been living the dreams of our parents, teachers, spouses, and even friends. Often, we lose ourselves because of the unrealistic demands that they place on us. They also impose their values, forcing us into conformity. For years, we carry the burden and stress of pleasing them at the cost of our self-worth. It’s time to break free from all those negative dynamics by reclaiming and charting the course of your life. Keep moving in the direction where your heart is leading, because this is where your happiness begins.

Tips for Maintaining Happiness

Practice thinking healthy, wholesome, and positive thoughts throughout each day. Resist the urge to dwell on negativity that will not only depress you, but others, too. Do not give negative thoughts any room because you will be stuck with them. However, if you find those thoughts becoming overpowering, I recommend reaching out to others such as family, trusted friends, or a trained counsellor for help. Banish doom and gloom, and learn to see the positive in everything. Everyone feels down sometimes and it’s normal. However, do not allow it to prolong. Instead, shift the mood by going for a walk, connecting with the people in your life, visiting the mall nearest to you, or getting out and treating yourself to an enjoyable meal. Avoid negative and critical people because it will only be a matter of time before you adopt their ways, which will be to your detriment. Happy people love being around others. As a result, they enjoy spending time with family and friends and socializing with others. Therefore, surround yourself with a group of cheerful people from whom you can draw strength and inspiration during your downtime.  Remember, you are responsible for your happiness; therefore, do not expect anyone to do everything for you. Cheerful people attract those who are like-minded.

One of my Greatest Happy Moments

I have experienced periods of great happiness in my life despite some very traumatic events. However, I want to share one that has shaped the person I am today. The happiest moment of my life was when I graduated from college. It was a very special day for me because I dared to venture into a place where no other family member had gone. My college life was hard in every way and often I came close to quitting, but I kept persevering. I was overjoyed because I had triumphed, and the victory was sweet. My friends were there to celebrate with me and cheer me on. I could hear their resounding applause as I went forward to collect my degree. My college degree meant everything to me – freedom from financial constraints, independence, and the accomplishing of my other dreams. I had a job waiting for me as well and I was so happy nothing could have gotten me down. It was a jubilant day for me, and the memory is still vivid in my mind.

God created us to be free, and He wants us to be happy and filled with joy (John 15:11). Being happy is to be free from all the limitations that others have placed on us. I encourage you to reclaim your lives from those who have stolen them! Stand up and fight back to reconnect with your true self, as this is where happiness begins. Cheers to the true and happy you!

Do you have any happy moments in your life that you would like to share with our readers? I would love to hear them! Looking forward to reading yours!

www.heartplushands.com