SELF-ABANDONMENT – ARE YOU GUILTY?

We abandon ourselves when we cannot do the little things daily that nurture and nourish our mental, physical, spiritual, and overall well-being. Our primary responsibility is to take care of ourselves and then try to help others do the same. When we fail at self-care, we leave ourselves vulnerable to physical, mental, and spiritual weakness. It isn’t God’s idea for us to work ourselves to the point of our dangling nerves. Instead, we were meant to live lives that are rich, rewarding, and engaging. He gave us a 24-hour respite each week, and this doesn’t mean that we must not carve out time every single day for rest (Exodus 20:8-11). When we cannot take the time to care for ourselves, we will find our overworked, undernourished, and fatigued bodies succumbing to many maladies. A powerful mind lives in a strong body.

We say we love ourselves, yet everything we do contradicts this. We spend countless hours trying to entertain and please people, cooking, cleaning, and running errands to the detriment of our health. What about us? Are we not important enough to step aside and spend some time with ourselves to nurture and nourish our body mind and spirit? Yesterday, the world awakened to the shocking news of the death of another celebrity, DJ Twitch, who from his outward appearance had it all going for him. Yet no one saw the longing of his soul because it cannot be seen with human eyes. People are crying out for more and it is not for more money, and followers on social media but for more quality time with “ME”. This is one of the most selfless things you can do for yourself. Some are afraid to withdraw from public life for a while because it is not the thing they do, fearing public backlash or losing followers. Let them leave. Many more will follow. A good friend loveth at all times (Proverbs 17:17) and when people care about you, they allow you the space you need to take care of yourself and be authentic. Our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made, yet they are not machines, and they break from time to time. The problem is that they often warn us by sending creaking, pesty sounds we do not want to hear. When we ignore them, it is to our detriment because a simple oil change can become a complete overhaul of the engine, which is the heart of the vehicle, and takes much longer to fix.

How to you spend time with yourself

Being kind to yourself is the first step in self-care. Instead of jumping out of bed in the morning, do it slowly. Look at yourself in the mirror and affirm yourself. Do the simple little things such as brushing your teeth, taking a shower, combing your hair, having a good meal, and being present while you are doing it. Put “you” at the top and bottom of your daily schedule every day because you are more important than anything you could ever do. Take mini-vacations, and long vacations, hug longer,  and spend time alone or with people who are “self-carers” not “self-drainers.”

Live your life on your terms

Stop allowing people to manipulate you into doing what they think you should be doing. Find yourself and do those things that are meaningful to you and nurture your mind and body. Don’t be afraid to start all over. Sometimes this is what many of us need to do instead of remaining stuck in the corner we have placed ourselves in. Give yourself permission to move out and explore the world around you and your innate gifts.  We all have many gifts, but we harp on just one which is just as draining.  Try something new daily. You might find that you have more talents than you think. Listen to your heart and do what it is telling you to do without fear. Life is risky and one cannot live without taking risks: take a hike, go bungee jumping, zip-lining.  Do something fun and amazing!

Spend quality time with God

Put God first in your life. Set aside time to be with Him daily because He is the power source of all wisdom. Talk with Him about your life, concerns, family, the future because He yearns to hear them. Read the Bible daily and praise Him as well. He wants to comfort you when you are broken by giving you that safe space to heal. He wants to guide and give you the life He has planned for you.

Spend quality time with family

God created us to be a community. We are never meant to be alone. Spending quality time with family creates bonds and trust, provides support, and improves our overall health. Those who don’t have a family can spend time with friends or church members because this is good for you and increases longevity.

Although it is good to do good, let your first good be taking care of you today!