Tag: depression

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DEPRESSION, THE BLACK HOLE IN THE SOUL

According to the APA (American Psychological Association), there is more to depression than sadness. Some symptoms that depressed people experience are the loss of interest in the enjoyment of daily activities, major weight loss or gain, sleeplessness or too much sleep, lethargy, lack of focus, low self-esteem, and feelings of guilt, fixation with death and, suicidal tendency. Depression is a very common mental disorder that is treatable by combining therapies and medicine.

https://www.apa.org/topics/depression

Depression is an insidious, perpetual black hole in the soul.  It brings one into this gross, dark place that is tormenting the soul.   The depressed person feels like they are pinned down beneath a ton of weight from which there is no escape. It blocks the light from penetrating the eyes which are the soul’s window. Sometimes one might contemplate climbing towards the light, however, each attempt appears to draw them in deeper.  There are those odd days when, with a bit of persistence, the depressed will muster up the strength to escape from it sadly, it is only short-lived because their mood changes so fast it’s almost impossible to stay positive and focused. Anything can trigger a bout of depression; disappointment,  betrayal by friends or loved ones, sexual abuse, rejection, bullying, stress at work, or just fatigue.

 Since most depressed people suffer from low-self esteem, mood swings are a constant for them. Often friends or family members may try to encourage and support them however, they may also become frustrated with the lack of interest. Sometimes, the depressed person’s mind is unhinged hence they cannot accept the kindness of others. As a result, they often sink deeper into depression and cannot cope with the demands of life. Therefore, they resort to isolation, self-mutilation, sleeping excessively, overeating,  anorexia nervosa, wallowing in self-pity, wishing the days away, and hoping life will pass by without their notice. In this state, feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness often set in and are usually followed by suicidal thoughts and, sometimes, these thoughts are acted out.

Depression chips away at your body’s vital force, leaving it in a weakened state. Hence, depressed people experience intense emotions, feelings of overwhelm, fear, anxiety, and pain, which restricts them from fully taking part in the activities of their lives.  The more one indulges in apathy and self-pity, the greater the desire to engage in addictive behaviors such as binge eating, alcoholism, smoking, drugs, pornography, and compulsive behaviors such as sex, gambling, and shopping. They believe these things make them happy. However,  it’s all superficial and only a frantic cry for help. Depression creates restlessness within, and it is a pain for which there is no self-cure.  No one needs to be ashamed of depression. It is a chronic illness that requires professional help through either medication or counseling and, in some cases, both.

I too suffered from depression for many years.  Looking back, I realized I was in a very dark and dreary place. It felt as though the darkest clouds were always pouring down vehemently all over me. There were many times when I fell flat on my face with no hope or desire of ever getting back up. I became addicted to sugar and shopping, which I used as a coping mechanism.  I loved everything sweet; candies, ice cream, cakes, pies, cookies, peanut butter, and chocolate, my favorite.  These foods supercharged my energy levels and provided me with the comfort that helped me forget my problems if only temporarily. Sometimes I would get up in the wee hours and eat sweets. One morning at 2:00 a.m. I ate an entire box of Cadbury Roses and wondered where they went because I didn’t even remember tasting them.  I just wolfed them down.

There were points in my life when I felt that life was not worth living and encouraged suicidal thoughts and also dangled on the periphery of suicide a couple of times. Here I was in London, the city of my dreams, where there was so much to do and see and yet depression almost stole that beautiful experience from me. The weight of the darkness was so overwhelming I went to the train station early one Saturday morning to end it all.  When I arrived, a few people were waiting for the train and I  stayed far from them.  I waited for the train to arrive, but it took forever.  When I saw the train arriving in the distance, I became overwhelmed with emotions.  I ran back home blinded by tears and unable to see where I was going, not that I cared. Unbeknown to me, I had visitors. I bolted up the stairs with Mike following in the tow.  I yanked the door open and was about to slam it shut when he braced himself inside, by now I was very hysterical and told him to leave.  He refused and stayed with me; he talked with me in a soft and soothing voice while asking me questions to understand what was going on.  It took hours before I found my voice and opened up to him about my feelings then. He saved my life that day because I had a meltdown that I didn’t think I could recover from.  Yes, I was a Christian, but being a Christian doesn’t mean that you are exempt from facing difficult times in your life. 

One of my hobbies is reading and I love reading autobiographies and self-help books which helped to improve my mood.   I am an avid fan of Sidney Sheldon and I read all of his books and watched the movies.  One day I came upon his latest book “The Other Side of Me”, at the local library in Dublin, Ireland.  The title intrigued me and I delved into reading it right away.  While thumbing through the pages, I came across this phrase;

“I want all of you to be as happy as possible. My happiness is an elusive balloon, waiting for me to grab it, floating from side to side with the wind, across oceans, big green meadows, trees and brooks, rustic pastoral scenes and rain-swept sidewalks. First high, barely visible, far out of reach, then low, almost within reach, blown here and there by the vagaries of a playful wind, a wind one moment heartless and sadistic, the next gently compassionate. The wind of fate, and in it rests our lives”.  Suddenly, I had an epiphany. No one is exempt from depression, which was a poignant reminder of the frailty of humanity.

I functioned in my dysfunction because I had accomplished many dreams, yet the happiness I desperately sought seemed elusive. There was always present this restless wave in my soul. I hated my life, and I wanted to experience tranquillity, stability, and vibrancy within my life.  It occurred to me that there was something that needed to be fixed, hence I reached out to several professionals who helped me walk back towards the light.

Nowadays, I am experiencing joy in my life and I strive to maintain this.  Some things I do daily are: maintaining a connection with God through prayer, Bible study, singing and just being of service to humanity.

Reading and journaling

Going for long walks

Talking to friends

Being kind to myself and others.

Traveling and learning new things

Sometimes I like to go into the kitchen, experiment with foods, and prepare something special which I eat with relish.

 If you are suffering from depression, please discuss this with a licensed professional counselor or a medical professional. The sooner you do this, the quicker you will see the results that will help you live the life that matters most to you.  Let’s stomp out the darkness! No more darkness here, let there be light!

Disclaimer: I do not intend The information in this post for the treatment or cure of depression.  Only a qualified counselor or a medical professional can effectively treat depression.  This is only for providing information.

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Obesity – Do you really need to take that next bite?

Food for celebrations

Food transcends all cultures around the world and is at the center of almost everything we do. It is a great way for families and friends to get together and celebrate and socialize at special events such as birthdays, weddings, holidays, anniversaries, graduations, Jewish bar mitzvah, the birth of a child, proposals, college acceptance, annual and seasonal festivities. Food is also very popular at repasts where families and loved ones reconnect and support each other through the bereavement period, business meetings where important decisions are made, office parties, special occasions such as promotions, retirements and just about everything. Food is everywhere and often very delicious.

The fusion of culinary cultures

Migration has brought with it the blending of cultures that have led to the creation of exquisite cuisine from all over the world, which is scrumptious as well as appetizing. Usually, these foods are very healthy and nutritious. However, sometimes it becomes unhealthy, especially if it’s fried with hydrogenated oils, which is bad for the heart. Studies have shown that it can increase LDL (bad) cholesterol while decreasing the levels of HDL (good) cholesterol (Link 2019). Therefore, all things must be done in moderation, as too much of a good thing can produce more harm than good. There is fast food that is loaded with fat and sugar, and many of us eat too much. Hence, the obesity problem is chronic in our world today. In recent times, there has been more availability of junk food and a lack of physical activity which promotes obesity.  The pandemic, too, played a huge role in the obesity crisis because people were locked down and forced to stay indoors while our leaders scrambled to figure out what to do. The stress caused by the fear of catching the dreaded plague, coupled with economic uncertainties such as unemployment, food ration, shortage in essential supplies, and people squashing together in tight quarters 24/7 caused tempers to flare, which helped to aggravate the situation.  Many people turned to food as a consolation to get them through these difficult times.

Food causes drunkenness and illness

In the book of Proverbs, Solomon cautions us about gluttony, which leads to obesity. (Proverbs 23:1-3 , 20-21). Food can cause drunkenness. After consuming large amounts of fatty foods with little or no vegetable which is always topped with heavy salad dressings and consuming large portions of rich desserts laden with sugar and fats, there is the tendency to feel drowsy and fall asleep. A typical example is after eating a Thanksgiving or Christmas because people tend to over-prepare during this time, resulting in an abundance of food. 

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the US obesity prevalence increased from 30.5% in 1999 to 41.9% between the periods 2017-2020.  Also, the prevalence of severe obesity increased from 4.7% to 9.2%. Obesity-related conditions are on the rise, heart disease, stroke, type2 diabetes and certain forms of cancer, which are among the major determinants of preventable and premature death. In the United States, the estimated yearly medical cost of obesity was nearly $173 billion dollars in 2019. When compared to the cost of medical care for people with healthier weights, the cost of those with obesity was $1861 higher, which is quite alarming. 

Psychology of eating

Many use food as a coping mechanism because it detracts them from facing their real problems. For example, someone might feel guilt, shame, or battling low self-esteem hence they eat the whole gallon of ice cream, and stuff themselves with cakes, pies, puddings, candies, and other rich pastries hoping that these will eradicate the demons that are haunting them. However, they soon learn that this doesn’t work because they notice they are becoming larger from overeating, and it makes them feel worse about themselves. Hence, they eat more, and this sinks them further into depression as they focus on self-defeating words such as you’re not good enough, it is too late to do anything now or nobody loves me. Thus, they continue the vicious cycle of overeating to silence a voice or numb the pain that will not leave because they are using the wrong approach to address this pain. Unfortunately, this can bring about suicidal ideation. They connected obesity to other comorbidities, such as Type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea and other chronic illnesses.   (Psychosocial burden of obesity)

Unregulated eating is prevalent among those who are obese. Studies have shown that many of those seeking weight loss treatment admitted to engaging in emotional eating while others said they had difficulty controlling portion sizes, and frequency of meals or developed the disorder from their response to societal pressure through the imposing advertisement promoting foods that look good but not always nutritious. Binge-eating is the most popular eating disorder among those who are obese.  Binge-eating disorder is described as eating large amounts of food in a short time frame, usually less than two hours. Individuals usually lost control and eat faster than normal until they feel stuffed without feeling hungry and often eat alone.  Some individuals have reported feeling disgusted of binge eating.

Sarwer, D. B., & Polonsky, H. M. (2016)

Healthy Habits to adopt for obesity prevention

According to the Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH), the amount of calories people consume directly impacts their weight. When we consume the same number of calories that the body uses, our weight remains constant. When we consume more than we spend, the result is weight gain. They have conducted many studies about how patterns in food and diet protect against heart diseases, type 2 diabetes, and other chronic illnesses.  The foods that discourage weight gain are the same ones that prevent diseases.  The foods are whole grains, vegetables, fruits, and nuts, while processed food such as refined grains and sugary drinks leads to weight gain. Foods, in their natural form, directly from nature, are best for us.   

Exercise is not only a great way to lose weight but improves health, promotes relaxation, good sleep and helps with moodiness and protects against chronic illnesses.  Get outside and walk about daily enjoying the fresh air, deep breathing and enjoying the beauty of nature.  Start slowly, then increase as you get stronger.  Please remember to consult with your medical provider before engaging in any dietary changes or exercises, especially if you are morbidly obese. (HSPH) Prayer is very important in every situation we face in life.