According to the APA (American Psychological Association), there is more to depression than sadness. Some symptoms that depressed people experience are the loss of interest in the enjoyment of daily activities, major weight loss or gain, sleeplessness or too much sleep, lethargy, lack of focus, low self-esteem, and feelings of guilt, fixation with death and, suicidal tendency. Depression is a very common mental disorder that is treatable by combining therapies and medicine.
Depression is an insidious, perpetual black hole in the soul. It brings one into this gross, dark place that is tormenting the soul. The depressed person feels like they are pinned down beneath a ton of weight from which there is no escape. It blocks the light from penetrating the eyes which are the soul’s window. Sometimes one might contemplate climbing towards the light, however, each attempt appears to draw them in deeper. There are those odd days when, with a bit of persistence, the depressed will muster up the strength to escape from it sadly, it is only short-lived because their mood changes so fast it’s almost impossible to stay positive and focused. Anything can trigger a bout of depression; disappointment, betrayal by friends or loved ones, sexual abuse, rejection, bullying, stress at work, or just fatigue.
Since most depressed people suffer from low-self esteem, mood swings are a constant for them. Often friends or family members may try to encourage and support them however, they may also become frustrated with the lack of interest. Sometimes, the depressed person’s mind is unhinged hence they cannot accept the kindness of others. As a result, they often sink deeper into depression and cannot cope with the demands of life. Therefore, they resort to isolation, self-mutilation, sleeping excessively, overeating, anorexia nervosa, wallowing in self-pity, wishing the days away, and hoping life will pass by without their notice. In this state, feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness often set in and are usually followed by suicidal thoughts and, sometimes, these thoughts are acted out.
Depression chips away at your body’s vital force, leaving it in a weakened state. Hence, depressed people experience intense emotions, feelings of overwhelm, fear, anxiety, and pain, which restricts them from fully taking part in the activities of their lives. The more one indulges in apathy and self-pity, the greater the desire to engage in addictive behaviors such as binge eating, alcoholism, smoking, drugs, pornography, and compulsive behaviors such as sex, gambling, and shopping. They believe these things make them happy. However, it’s all superficial and only a frantic cry for help. Depression creates restlessness within, and it is a pain for which there is no self-cure. No one needs to be ashamed of depression. It is a chronic illness that requires professional help through either medication or counseling and, in some cases, both.
I too suffered from depression for many years. Looking back, I realized I was in a very dark and dreary place. It felt as though the darkest clouds were always pouring down vehemently all over me. There were many times when I fell flat on my face with no hope or desire of ever getting back up. I became addicted to sugar and shopping, which I used as a coping mechanism. I loved everything sweet; candies, ice cream, cakes, pies, cookies, peanut butter, and chocolate, my favorite. These foods supercharged my energy levels and provided me with the comfort that helped me forget my problems if only temporarily. Sometimes I would get up in the wee hours and eat sweets. One morning at 2:00 a.m. I ate an entire box of Cadbury Roses and wondered where they went because I didn’t even remember tasting them. I just wolfed them down.
There were points in my life when I felt that life was not worth living and encouraged suicidal thoughts and also dangled on the periphery of suicide a couple of times. Here I was in London, the city of my dreams, where there was so much to do and see and yet depression almost stole that beautiful experience from me. The weight of the darkness was so overwhelming I went to the train station early one Saturday morning to end it all. When I arrived, a few people were waiting for the train and I stayed far from them. I waited for the train to arrive, but it took forever. When I saw the train arriving in the distance, I became overwhelmed with emotions. I ran back home blinded by tears and unable to see where I was going, not that I cared. Unbeknown to me, I had visitors. I bolted up the stairs with Mike following in the tow. I yanked the door open and was about to slam it shut when he braced himself inside, by now I was very hysterical and told him to leave. He refused and stayed with me; he talked with me in a soft and soothing voice while asking me questions to understand what was going on. It took hours before I found my voice and opened up to him about my feelings then. He saved my life that day because I had a meltdown that I didn’t think I could recover from. Yes, I was a Christian, but being a Christian doesn’t mean that you are exempt from facing difficult times in your life.
One of my hobbies is reading and I love reading autobiographies and self-help books which helped to improve my mood. I am an avid fan of Sidney Sheldon and I read all of his books and watched the movies. One day I came upon his latest book “The Other Side of Me”, at the local library in Dublin, Ireland. The title intrigued me and I delved into reading it right away. While thumbing through the pages, I came across this phrase;
“I want all of you to be as happy as possible. My happiness is an elusive balloon, waiting for me to grab it, floating from side to side with the wind, across oceans, big green meadows, trees and brooks, rustic pastoral scenes and rain-swept sidewalks. First high, barely visible, far out of reach, then low, almost within reach, blown here and there by the vagaries of a playful wind, a wind one moment heartless and sadistic, the next gently compassionate. The wind of fate, and in it rests our lives”. Suddenly, I had an epiphany. No one is exempt from depression, which was a poignant reminder of the frailty of humanity.
I functioned in my dysfunction because I had accomplished many dreams, yet the happiness I desperately sought seemed elusive. There was always present this restless wave in my soul. I hated my life, and I wanted to experience tranquillity, stability, and vibrancy within my life. It occurred to me that there was something that needed to be fixed, hence I reached out to several professionals who helped me walk back towards the light.
Nowadays, I am experiencing joy in my life and I strive to maintain this. Some things I do daily are: maintaining a connection with God through prayer, Bible study, singing and just being of service to humanity.
Reading and journaling
Going for long walks
Talking to friends
Being kind to myself and others.
Traveling and learning new things
Sometimes I like to go into the kitchen, experiment with foods, and prepare something special which I eat with relish.
If you are suffering from depression, please discuss this with a licensed professional counselor or a medical professional. The sooner you do this, the quicker you will see the results that will help you live the life that matters most to you. Let’s stomp out the darkness! No more darkness here, let there be light!
Disclaimer: I do not intend The information in this post for the treatment or cure of depression. Only a qualified counselor or a medical professional can effectively treat depression. This is only for providing information.
Positive social behavior causes enhancement of the welfare of others and plays a crucial function in cooperative social relationships. Among the many processes that help pro-social development is the significance of the child’s attachment to their parents/caregiver. Brett, Cassidy, Gross, & Stern, (2017). Researchers are interested in the connection between secure attachments and broad-based indices of pro-social behaviors.
Current theories and studies have shown that children displayed many pro-social behaviors that were distinct and had definite parallels and developmental trajectories that are characteristic of certain pro-social behaviors, such as comforting, sharing, and helping Brett, et al., (2017). (https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-16860-026)
Scientific evidence supports a correlation between secure attachment and pro sociality. However, results differ when it comes to sharing, comforting, and helping. A secure attachment system between infants and parents/caregivers is critical to the child’s development because it provides them with the tools necessary to form safe relationships in their adolescent and adult lives (Brett et al. 2017).
The basic Tenet of Attachment
Bowlby acknowledges the theory of behavioral systems, which is on the premise of biologically evolved neural programs. This method attempted to explain the ability of humans to organize their behavioral responses that enables them to act quickly and cope during uncertain times while at the same time, fuels the desire to survive and procreate. (Carr & Lai, 2018). Bowlby said the biological attachment enables infants to pursue robust, wise, and protective people for meeting their needs, provide security, support, and care, particularly during times of persistent crisis. Whenever people perceive threats or stressors in their environment, their attachment system is set into motion to secure life and property. (Lai & Carr, 2018).
Whenever these structures are inactive, or the absence of the threat of attachment set-up is relaxed, the mental energy renews for other activities. Importantly, security is the aim of such attachment behavior, especially at the looming of danger when no reliable caregiver is available to respond. Thus, the perceived attainment of protection is reduced further attachment-related attempts. (Lai & Carr, 2018). The process of developing security overtime helps to establish an authentic “secure base script,” especially with the issues of coping with threats, receiving help, and controlling negative feelings in future relationships.
Attachment Is an Emotional Bond
A baby’s initiation of closeness in a western middle-class family comes about as a result of emotionally stimulating interactions with reciprocal exchanges and emotional expressions. Hence, the showing of emotions during awkward times (e.g., stress caused by separation and relief and joy upon reuniting with the mother) indicates attachment. This emotional regulation applies to all children globally. Also, the expression of emotional cornerstones, e.g., stranger anxiety, is deemed biologically base and universal (Keller, 2018).
In western textbooks, the anxiety of strangers presumed to start in the behavioral repertoire of a baby at about eight months of age when the emotional connection with the primary caregiver develops. A confrontation with an unfamiliar person in an odd situation can cause distress in the child and generate the attachment behavior of proximity seeking (Keller, 2018).
Cultural documentation from sub-Saharan communities such as the Ivorian Beng or Cameroon is clear that stranger anxiety is absent from the behavioral repertoire of these developing children of the agrarian cultures. Although infants might have been born with the biological tendency to develop the anxiety of strangers, the actual events of concern would depend on contextual experiences (Keller, 2018). Close-knit ordinary farming communities in the non-western world have fewer strangers visiting; therefore, the families do not perceive any potential threats. Also, it is a common practice for parents to socialize infants with multiple caregivers to take on different roles and responsibilities (Keller, 2018).
The Significant Attachment Partner is an Adult
The principal caregivers for babies in Western middle-class societies are adults, primarily the mother with some help from the father and sometimes a grandmother and babysitters. The attachment is specific to the particular dyad (Keller, 2018). This relationship is presumed foremost, and the model for relationships futuristically. This idea resembles the nuclear family model and generational discontinuity owing to the changing dynamics of the western middle-class families (Keller, 2018).
There are multiple social partners for babies in original farming villages, which reflects the assignment of responsibilities within huge multigenerational homes. The mother may play the central role in the caregiving network for a while, since she breastfeeds the child and may also be one of the many playing a role in the relational system (Keller, 2018). Fathers are not actively involved in the early life of the baby; however, grandmothers are critical. Often children are utilized as caregivers of babies. Scheidecker analyzed the social relationships of children during the first four years of life in South Madagascan villages (Keller, 2018).
Upon observation, the peer group of children up to five years of age significantly socially interacted with infants. Although attachment researchers acknowledge that multiple caregiving relationships exist, they have concluded that the different relational experiences result in a similar idea of attachment relationships worldwide. (Keller, 2018)
The conclusion is contradictory to evidence from cross-cultural research that shows that early experience has critical implications for the development and achievements of children. (Keller, 2018)
Disorders Associated with Attachment
Researchers have accepted the view that attachment disorders begin in early childhood and resulting from the inadequacy of their environment. As a result, two separate clinical patterns are developed; emotionally withdrawn/inhibited phenotype, and an indiscriminately social/disinhibited phenotype (Hornor, 2019). According to (Honor, 2019) because of the significant differences in the clinical disorders the 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V,) designated two separate attachment disorders, reactive attachment disorder (RAD) and disinhibited social engagement disorder (DSED), to describe these clinical symptoms. DSED is considered as being overly friendly, approaching unknown adults, inability to recognize danger, and going off with strangers. (Hornor, 2019). For the diagnostic purpose, the criteria for either attachment disorder requires that the child suffered severe social neglect during their early years and have a cognitive age of at least nine months to ascertain whether the child is competent in forming attachments (APA, 2013).
These attachment disorders are somewhat rare. RAD is noticeable in young children neglected children before placement in foster homes or raised institutionally. There is a possibility that less than 10% of these children who experienced severe social neglect will have the disorder. Children who develop RAD had experienced were neglected socially within the first few months of life (Hornor, 2019). Symptoms of RAD develops at an early age between nine months and five years.
In young children, RAD is described as the lack of focused attachment behaviors directed toward a preferred caregiver. Failure to find and respond to comfort when in distress; reduced social and emotional reciprocity; stunted response to others; disturbed emotional regulation, such as negative affect and unexplained fearfulness and irritability even when an attempt is made by a family member to comfort (Mikic & Terradas, 2014; Zeanah & Gleason, 2015) (Hornor, 2019. (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4342270/)
Children with RAD may resort to soothing themselves, becoming socially inept, and display aggressive behavior towards peers (Haugaard & Hazan, 2004). The criteria for the diagnosis of RAD is focused primarily on absent or aberrant attachment behaviors across settings rather than on social behaviors ( Zeanah & Gleason, 2015). The main deficit of RAD is evidence of the absence of attachment behaviors. Therefore, a diagnosis for RAD must include observations of the child’s interaction with their primary caregivers and also strangers. (Hornor, 2019). Some common comorbidities associated with RAD are the delay of language, cognitive delay, and stereotyping. The child may also experience depressive symptoms. Children diagnosed with RAD may have underlying clinical conditions such as stunted growth, lesions on the skin, and hygiene neglect. (APA, 2013) (Horner, 2019).
Contextual Child-Parent Attachment Representation
Within any relationship, individuals can create a “context-specific” attachment schemata relevant to a specific relational partner. Context-specific schemata act as mediators connecting the global and episodic levels of specific by using a top-down and bottom-up approach (Carr & Lai, 2018). Research has confirmed that individuals are capable of developing various context-specifics throughout their lifetime. For example, (school-specific, sports-specific, and community-specific) attachment ties with many relational partners inclusive of parents, close friends, teammates, teachers, coaches, and romantic partners (Carr & Lai, 2018). These connections are the result of their availability and ability to satisfy specific attachment functions (for example, proximity, haven, and secure base) in a given context and at different stages of development (Carr & Lai, 2018).
Context-specific attachment is a schema in which one’s attachment representation with parents mainly differs by context as in sports or school and are reserved and experienced in an emotional and psychological sense (Carr & Lai, 2018). These contextual schemata can involve an interplay between contextual factors, global structures (i.e., a prototypical schema for parents), and episodic interactions momentarily (Carr & Lai, 2018).
Anthropology re-dux: Infant and Mother in Context
Death without weeping, a significant study by Nancy Scheper-Hughes, described the socio-economic context influences maternal attitudes and emotions. She observed three generations of mothers living in poverty in Brazil, where each mother had an estimated 9.5 pregnancies, eight births, and 3.5 infant mortality ( Vicedo, 2017). It is very likely these babies will not survive; therefore, mothers were wary of becoming too attached; hence they did not name the infant or grieve after their death. However, this is a typical example of Western culture ( Vicedo, 2017). Scheper-Hughes concluded that there is no universality in mother’s love and naturally monolithic effect. This challenges attachment theory, because she called for recognition that mother’s love represents a matrix of images, meanings, sentiments, and practices that are everywhere socially and produced culturally.
Other anthropologists revealed that socio-cultural contexts impact parents’ goals in childrearing and, as a result, their practices, including emotional involvement with their infants. Levine et al. discovered that Guidi mothers who bore an average of ten children, the first focus is on their survival and then teaching them submissiveness, in contrast to U.S. mothers whose goal is not compliance. (Vicedo, 2017). In her observation of Samoan family relations, Mageo found that socialization is not oriented towards developing feelings of security but instead encourages separation. ( Vicedo, 2017)
Mothers have different goals that are dependent on their socio-economic status, cultural traditions, and social class and also evaluate their children’s behavior differently. For example, Harwood, Miller, and Irizarry founded that U.S. mothers in the Anglo and Puerto Rican communities of Connecticut had various concepts of what a ‘good child’ is, and these hindered their judgment of their children’s behavior in a simulated odd situation ( Vicedo, 2017). Research has revealed that some mothers disproved of secure behavior and approved of insecure behavior. Weisner also reported that some mothers in the U.S. encouraged their children’s independence; however, that behavior is comparable to the avoidance class in the attachment classification system (Vicedo, 2017).
Criticism of Attachment Theory
According to Keller (2018), attachment theory is only applicable to the Western middle-class. They ignore the caregiving values and practice in the majority of the world. Attachment theory claims to be universal in all aspects. Since universality indicates moral judgments about good and bad parenting, there is the need to address ethical questions Keller, (2018). Sensitive responsiveness in attachment theory was established on a different concept of the person and self than ideas of good caregiving in many rural subsistence-based farming families. Comparing one system to the standards of another ignores the separate realities in different value systems. In families across the world, childcare is prioritized, and their caregivers attempt to give them the best care Keller, (2018). This is especially important because patterns of care are carefully adapted to the ecological situations and social history of the different communities. The universality claims for attachment theory recommending one particular view as best for all children in the world is a stark contrast to the actual ecosocial diversity Keller, (2018). (https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1720325115)
Attachment and Emotion Regulation
Way before either attachment became known, psychoanalysts were busy observing nature and the importance of intimate human relations. The objective of the relationship group, and particularly the British psychoanalytic school’s revision of Freudian theory drive which supplied the momentum for the many attachments and interpersonal relatedness (De Stefano, 2017). Donald Fairbairn’s (1949) famous dictum that the ‘libido is not primarily pleasure-seeking, but object-seeking. A fact that has captured the essence of man’s natural biological drive to establish and maintain close relationships with people who are important to them (Baumeister & Leary 1995). Attachment is nature’s strategy for survival because it involves individuals receiving care from birth throughout their entire life. Survival is the ability of humans to manage and respond to life stressors (Atkins & De Stefano, 2017).
Neuroscientists have speculated that evolution is at the center of the development of the nervous system in humans that is responsible for altering them of threats. Within the midbrain is the amygdala that performs the role of scanning the environment for signs of imminent danger (Damasio, 2001; Ledoux, 2015). Upon detection, the amygdala sends information to the autonomic nervous system, ANS, where an appropriate flight, fight, or freeze takes place (De Stefano, 2017). Another area of the brain is the prefrontal cortex, which can calm or modulate the reaction of the amygdala. The amygdala in humans is complete at eight months’ gestation, while it takes years for the cortex to catch up. Caregiver’s play a pivotal role in the infancy stage, as they must have love, care, and the right social environment, which is essential for the cortex to develop (Atkins & De Stefano, 2017) https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-43734-002
From birth, unpredictable processes such as holding, touching, gazing, vocalizing, and playing are crucial for regulating the autonomic nervous system, optimal brain development, affect regulation, and the creation of secure attachment (Porges, 2003; A. N. Schore, 2001, 2003).
Caregivers’ ability to comfort the child when distressed helps to establish secure ties between the infant/caregiver. The interactive, bidirectional communication between them assists the child in developing neural circuits from the amygdala to the cortex, which allows for autoregulation of emotions at a later stage (Atkins & De Stefano, 2017).
The initial dyadic co-regulation of emotional reactivity and negative arousal will not occur without the face-to-face and thus “brain-to-brain linkup” that is shaped by both individuals (Goleman, 2006, p. 4).
Conclusion
Attachment theory originated with Bowlby, who claims that a secure attachment is necessary for a child to adapt to real-life situations in the world. The first few years of the child’s life is the most crucial stage of their emotional development. Here is where they learn to trust by interacting with their caregivers, who are attentive, compassionate, and kind. Adults also benefit from emotional regulation. Some researchers are of the view that attachment is just a concept of the western middle-class. Irrespective of the cultural differences in attachment, it is a critical part of the child’s development and is the primary model for forming secure relationships as adults.
We owe it to ourselves, our families, friends and posterity to break the negative patterns by choosing to evolve into the person we want to be. It is time for you to take that mammoth leap by standing up to the past and wrestling it to the ground through therapy, prayer and self-help because you’re powerful and strong!
Throughout history, people have grappled with their humanity. They are constantly seeking to improve their lives. As a result, they seek ways to harness their true potential that will elevate them to that realm of social and economic stability. They strive to gain a good education, great jobs, promotions, houses, and cars. However, at the center of this, they want to create strong family bonds with their spouses, children, extended family, and friends while creating balance and stability in their lives. Many have tried hard and although some have accomplished tremendous feats, they still cannot have meaningful relationships with anyone. The answer to this lies within themselves and they must dig deep to find it. To do so we all must ask ourselves this question: who am I? Have you ever stopped to ponder this?
Three years ago, I made a list of questions that I needed answers to and, at the top of my list, was this very question. I had written this in my diary but had forgotten about it. A couple of days ago, while wrestling with emotions, I felt impressed to revisit this question. While I pondered this, the following thoughts came to my mind and I would like to share them with you. We all have a past that is linked to the future we are trying to create. We can only experience real joy and happiness in our lives when we dig up the past, thoroughly investigate every finding and, are willing to attempt to fix anything that is broken.
Many children were abandoned by their parents while some were given up for adoption and they secretly loathe the parents whom they perceive never loved them. Others felt abandoned because their parents were emotionally unavailable or might have criticized them repeatedly. Deep down, there is a longing for that maternal or paternal attachment that was missing from their childhood. As a result, they wander throughout life aimlessly feeling like they do not belong. Hence, they strive to create this sense of belonging by joining groups, creating friendships or even starting a family while relying on them to give them that sense of worthiness. Others have become super achievers just to win men’s empty praises, which temporarily stokes one’s ego and creates a false sense of worth.
Sometimes we will desperately latch onto those who are empaths because of the positive energy they exude which awakens us. This can create an unnecessary strain on them because while they are fulfilling your needs theirs are unmet. Although you thrive on their energy sadly, their needs are ignored because you do not know how to reciprocate. Oftentimes this results in frustrations for the family member whether a spouse, sibling or even friends. You see there is not a single person who can fill the void in your soul. It is your responsibility to take the time to explore who you are, figure out what has caused that void in your life, how it is detracting you from your completeness as a person and get the help you need to steer you towards wholeness.
Some of us experienced severe trauma in our childhood from sexual abuse, physical abuse and psychological abuse. In most cases, this has led to addictions such as alcoholism, promiscuity, drug addiction, food addiction, low self-esteem and suicidal tendencies. Oftentimes, these wounds were inflicted by a teacher, religious leaders, family members or family friends and these have left scars that are buried so deep that even we ourselves cannot find them. Only with the help of a qualified counselor can these traumatic events be uncovered and dealt with over some time. Failure to do this will result in a missing YOU. Why do you continue to live with the altered version of yourself when you have the power to reclaim your individuality?
Despite how we view ourselves, we were created by God who loves and gave us mental faculties that are superior to that of animals. (John 3:16; Genesis 1:26-27) He also gave us gifts so that we can believe, think, dream, create, and live an abundant life that is free from fear and worry.
For our purposes in this article, the MICROBIOME is the population of organisms living in our digestive tract. It is composed of many species of bacteria, yeast, and maybe some protozoa. These organisms generally match the population of organisms living in our soil. Most often a child’s microbiome is well established by age 3. The child’s first ingestion of organisms is during the birthing process. This ingestion carries a lot of importance because children born via C-section are found to experience significantly increased gut-related health problems as compared to children born via normal vaginal delivery; especially if the mother’s microbiome is optimum. Right along with gut flora (another name for microbiome) introduction, the child’s immune system gets an “education” and these two systems mature at about the same age of 3. Those children who had the opportunity to play outside and eat mud-pies have healthier immune systems. After age 3, the microbiome is considered to be “set for life”. It is estimated that any healthy person’s gut flora includes about 1,000 species of bacteria and yeast. There is much overlap of species between people and much diversity as well. However, there is what is called the “core species” of 57 varieties found in every healthy person. www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/microbiome/
Dietary changes normally induce rapid changes in the gut flora. However, antibiotic use, major stress, major illness, advancing age, trauma, and major surgeries will adversely affect a person’s microbiome. Sometimes restoration of normal gut flora can be difficult; more on that problem later.
What is the practical significance on a person’s health consequent to changes in gut flora? There is a cause/effect relationship between an unhealthy microbiome and health challenges such as the following: brain development and behavior, appetite and food cravings, hormonal balance, gene expression, neurotransmitter balance, systemic inflammation, anxiety, obesity, and autism. Nearly any health challenge a person may suffer is associated with a poor microbiome. Please refer to a very good and entertaining lecture at this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mioR_WrkRaU&t=784s
Keep reading for some very important and practical considerations which you need to know and implement right now.
A group of about 8 species of gut flora in a healthy gut both produce and eat butyrate, a short-chain fatty acid. These organisms produce butyrate from dietary fiber. They produce so much butyrate that 5% to 15% of a person’s total daily caloric intake could come from butyrate and other short-chain fatty acids produced by the gut flora. The gut also depends on butyrate for regeneration. The gut lining renews itself every few days. So, HERE IS A PROBLEM: when the diet has insufficient fiber, these bacteria have insufficient food and decline resulting in insufficient butyrate to maintain a healthy gut. The gut lining can degenerate and get leaky so that toxic material from the gut gets into our circulation and cause systemic inflammation and the excess toxic load overwhelms the immune capacity. This may cause or at least contribute to autoimmune diseases. The SOLUTION is to adhere to a diet with plenty of fiber. NO dairy product has fiber. NO flesh food has fiber. Refined grains have minimal fiber. Very few Americans consume adequate fibre for maintaining a healthy gut and dietary fibre supplements have failed to help, butyrate supplements have failed to help, and supplementation of “probiotics” has not helped. The best diet is a plant-based diet; it is the diet for optimum health in every way including providing the best dietary fibre for the microbiome.
Have you heard of TRIMETHYL AMINES? It has been discovered that trimethylamine oxide causes oxidative damage to the delicate lining of blood vessels along with inflammation of the tissues. This substance is commonly elevated in those with plaque build up in the blood vessels. It is impossible to not be developing plaque build up in blood vessels when Trimethylamine oxide (TMAO) is present. So, where does TMAO come from? Certain bacteria in the gut convert a couple of amino acids commonly in food into trimethylamine (TMA). TMA irritates/damages the gut lining and can cause a leaky gut. Not only is the TMA readily absorbed, but the leaky gut lets a flood of toxins into our circulation. This condition causes diseases just like insufficient butyrate causes disease as noted above. What about those bacteria in the gut which produce TMA? Where do they come from? Well, diet rapidly changes the gut flora. The bacteria which produce TMA become dominant when a person’s diet contains meats, fish, eggs, or dairy products. Stop ingestion of these foods, eat plants and the TMA goes away and the butyrate comes back.
Wheat/gluten sensitivity has become very common. Could this problem be related to changes in the gut flora? There is an association, but is it the cause or one of the consequences or both? Whatever, it is known that our gut flora accomplishes a significant part of food digestion. A more recent discovery is a substance secreted by much normal gut flora needed for good immune function in the gut and maintaining good gut health. This substance, named terrahydrite, was first discovered in the soil produced by the soil microbiome. The next discovery was that when given by mouth to people with various gut problems, the problems went away. For more studies, a group of people with wheat/gluten sensitivity problems were selected. Endoscopies with biopsies of the gut were completed and the degree of damage if any was documented. Then the subjects were fed wheat products and follow up endoscopies with biopsies completed again. Thus, gut lining damage was verified by endoscopy with a biopsy. Then the study was repeated except along with eating wheat products, terrahydrite was given before the meals. The follow-up endoscopies with biopsy verified not only prevention of more damage but also significant healing. Then this same study protocol was repeated with people confirmed to be suffering from celiac disease. The result – terrahydrite was shown to be healing the damage from celiac disease! This is the first documented reversal of celiac disease damage.
Glyphosate (RoundUp) is at toxic levels in most of the food grown in the USA. It kills normal flora both in the soil and in the gut. It is likely a causative factor in the marked increase in wheat sensitivity. Following the same study protocol as was done for evaluation of wheat sensitivity and celiac disease, terrahydrite was found to not only protect the gut from Round-UP inflicted injury but to result in healing of the gut lining.
Terrahydrite has markedly improved the treatment of gut dysbiosis and associated health problems. It has been found helpful for the re-establishment of a healthy microbiome. It is marketed as ION-BIOME. Just do a google search on ION BIOME.
CONCLUSION: eating plant-based, eating organic, and using ION BIOME can heal and prevent many gut flora related health problems.
The dawning of the 21st century has brought along with it a new wave of chronic illnesses that were pretty much unheard of in the 19th century. Medical professionals and scientists are having difficulties trying to come up with adequate and effective treatments that will help to fight these acute medical conditions. Could phytochemicals be the solution to bolstering our immune system to effectively ward off many life-threatening illnesses such as cancer, heart diseases and diabetes?
What are phytochemicals?
Phytochemical are the biologically active non-nutritional plant compounds in vegetables, fruits, grains and other plant foods. (Hai Liu, R. 2003) They are known to decrease the risk of many persistent medical issues. Over five thousand phytochemicals were identified however, a large percentage are still not known. Researchers are convinced that the protection received from phytochemicals that are found in fruits and vegetables may be more significant than is currently accepted because oxidative stress is caused by free radicals that are the primary drivers of many critical illnesses. (Hai Liu, R. 2003)
Phytochemical Sources
Phytochemicals also called phytonutrients are available in legumes, beans, herbs, fruits, whole grains, vegetables, seeds and nuts. They are categorized based on their chemical composition and useful properties. Phytochemicals are often defined as (flavonoids, flavonols, flavonols, proanthocyanidins, and procyanidins. (Webb, D. 2013)
According to ( Zhang, et. al. 2015) phytochemicals also exist in consumable macrofungi, microalgae, and herbal plants used in medicine. Fruits like berries, grapes Chinese date, persimmon, plum, Chinese wampee and tropical fruits like guava, sweetsop, mango, naseberry, and pomegranate also certain wild fruits are loaded with antioxidants and phytochemicals. Polyphenols and carotenoids are the two primary phytochemicals since they supply more of the antioxidants found in our foods. For example, anthocyanins and ellagitannins are the main antioxidant compounds among the phytochemicals of strawberries (Zhang, et al 2015).
Fruits with a higher concentration of phenolic content have better results against oxidative stress. An example would be the effectiveness of the grape seed extract to scavenge against ABTS radical was positively connected with the number of phenolic compounds. (Zhang, et. al 2015) Carotenoids give food their yellow, orange, and red colors. Lycopene, lutein and cryptoxanthin are the main carotenoids in the diet and our bodies and fruits and vegetable are their main sources in our diet. (Zhang, et. al 2015)
Oxidative stress in the bodies of humans can cause an imbalance to develop which can lead to oxidative damage of the large biomolecules such as lipids, DNA, and protein. ( Zhang, et. al 2015) This damage is accountable for the onset of many diseases, such as cardiovascular disease, certain types of cancers, and aging. Therefore, antioxidant phytochemicals could play a key factor in treating and preventing critical illness. ( Zhang, et. al 2015) Human and in vitro studies concluded that phytochemicals have antioxidant qualities. The antioxidant capacity of
serum/plasma is proven to increase when fruits and vegetables are consumed in large quantities daily. For example, the serum antioxidant capacity increased remarkably after a group of elderly women consumed red wine, strawberries, vitamin C and spinach. These results are reflective of the outcome from previous studies that uncovered that the antioxidant capacity of plasma was increased notably when ten servings of fruits and vegetables were consumed for fifteen days.
( Zhang, et. al 2015)
How Phytochemicals Properties prevents Cardiovascular Disease
Research has reported a strong correlation between a phytochemical-rich diet and a lower incidence of heart disease. Intake of dietary flavonoids was significantly inversely associated with death from coronary artery disease and inversely related, however, less significant with the incidence of myocardial infarction. (Rui Hai Liu, 2003) A study done in Japan recently showed that the total intake of flavonoids; quercetin, myricetin, kaempferol, luteolin and ficetin was inversely correlated with the plasma total cholesterol and low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol concentrations. (Rui Hai Liu, 2003)
According to Joshipura et al, the total fruit and vegetable consumption were both individually associated with lowered risk for coronary artery disease; the inverse association between total consumption of fruit and vegetables and coronary artery disease was noticed when the daily consumption of fruits and vegetables was greater than 4 servings per day. ((Rui Hai Liu, 2003)
Phytochemical’s role in Cancer prevention
There has been proof that antioxidants can lessen the risk of cancer. This is confirmed by Block et al (11) based on an epidemiological evaluation of 200 studies that analyzed the connection linking fruits and vegetable consumption and cancers of the lung, colon breast, cervical cancer, oesophagal cancer, oral cavity cancer, stomach and bladder cancer, pancreas and ovary. (Rui Hai Liu, 2003)
One hundred and twenty-eight of the total number of one hundred and fifty- six nutritional research, found that eating more fruits and vegetables proved to offer more protection from chronic illnesses. It was noted that there was a higher rate of cancer among those who ate less fruit and vegetables. (Rui Hai Liu, 2003)
A higher level of protection was discovered in twenty-four of twenty-five cases of lung cancer. Fruit remarkably offered more protection in terms of cancers of the oesophagus, and larynx. In 26 of 30 studies, fruits and vegetable intake provided more protection with regards to cancers of the pancreas and stomach and in 23 of 38 studies of colorectal and bladder cancers. (Rui Hai Liu, 2003)
A study in Finland observed 9959 males and females between 15-99 years old showed an inverse relationship between flavonoid intake and the incidents of all cancer sites combined. After 24 years of follow up, it was noted that lung cancer risk reduced to 50% in the highest quartile of flavanol intake. (Rui Hai Liu, 2003) Consuming quercetin in onions and apples was found to be inversely related to lung cancer risk in Hawaii. The effect of onions was very strong against squamous cell carcinoma. Boyle et at (14) observed that increased plasma levels of quercetin following a meal of onions were accompanied by increased resistance to strand breakage by lymphocyte DNA and decreased levels of oxidative metabolites in the urine. (Rui Hai Liu, 2003)
Type 2 Diabetes
Research has indicated that foods that are rich in phytochemicals could lower the risk of type 2 diabetes. It is estimated that this could be done by lowering inflammation, boosting sensitivity to insulin and stopping increased weight which is a key factor in diabetes. (Webb, D. 2013)
So far, the effects of polyphenols on fasting blood glucose levels and insulin sensitivity by labs and animal studies have been positive. Including polyphenols in the diet will stop the digestion of carbohydrates and the absorbing of glucose in the intestine, trigger the secretion of insulin from the pancreas, regulate the release of glucose from the liver, initiate insulin receptors and the uptake of glucose in tissues sensitive to insulin and moderate intracellular signaling pathways and expression of a gene. Researchers have discovered that a lowered risk of type 2 diabetes is associated with eating more green leafy vegetables, which are rich in phytochemicals. (Webb, D. 2013)
Polyphenols present in tea and cocoa help to improve insulin sensitivity and reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes. Studies from eight European countries confirmed this. It showed that those who drank four or more cups of tea daily had a 16% lowered risk in comparison to those who didn’t drink tea. (Webb, D. 2013)
Neurodegeneration
Phytochemicals offer protection against Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s which are neurodegenerative diseases. Studies also indicate that phytochemical-rich capsaicin found in red pepper and curcumin found in turmeric, epigallocatechin gallate in tea, and resveratrol in grapes, wine and peanuts could offer neuroprotective effects. . (Webb, D. 2013)
Money has long been recognized as the medium of exchange for goods, and services that are necessary for our survival. However, there are the haves and the have nots? What causes this great disparity between these two groups? It all starts with knowing the art of money, appreciating its value, and learning how to manage it. Money management starts with creating a simple budget where you write all your income and expenses for a fixed period such as weekly or monthly. It is often said; it is not the amount of money you make but what you save. Some people live from paycheck to paycheck every week and despite the amount they earn they never seem to have money. This is tantamount to selfish and reckless living. God expects us to use wisdom in the handling of our finances so that we do not become a burden to anyone. Everyone can learn the art of managing their money and it starts with what is in your wallet now.
However, those who have mastered the art of managing their money are experiencing great successes in their lives and, to them, money is a powerful tool.
Money – Good or Evil
Money answereth everything. Ecclesiastes 10:19. It means that we need money for everything; food, housing, transportation, education, medical expenses, etc. Without money, these services would be off-limits to us. Money is not the root of all evil because it is important to the functioning of societies around the world.
Those who understand how money works put their money to good use by investing, giving to charity and carving out a good life for themselves and their families. However, money is deemed evil when we get to where we covet it and will do anything to get it which amounts to greed. Those who are struggling with managing their money can become ensnared by it and this can lead them to commit deadly crimes to satisfy their obsession. Some gain their riches illegally and have used them as weapons against the poor. Oftentimes they are engaged in human trafficking, money laundering, sex trade, especially against children, and other illicit activities. These heinous crimes result in gross physical and psychological damage to their victims and also result in exorbitant costs to economies around the world that funnel billions of dollars each year into fighting these money crimes and bringing their perpetrators to justice.
Managing Money
Everyone can learn how to manage their money. It doesn’t matter how small or large your income is. The first step is learning to live within your means. This means if one earns a hundred dollars weekly, that is what one should expect to live on. Avoid spending it all at once. Instead, make a budget and determine an amount for savings weekly, however small, and stick to it. Money appreciates over time, and with compound interest on saving accounts, the amount saved will soon add up. One can save for short-term or long-term goals. For example, buying a piece of equipment, appliance, cars, houses or college education for your children.
The summary below is a prime example of good financial management.
Dr Ben Carson’s mother only had a third-grade education and worked as domestic help. Yet she successfully raised two boys on a minimum wage; one of whom became one of the world’s prominent neurosurgeons. How did she get to become such a financial wizard?
Her relationship with God.
She didn’t sit back and fold her arms.
She worked hard and returned a faithful tithe
She was thankful for what God had given her.
God multiplied it and all their needs were met. Ben shared a story in his book, “Gifted Hands” – of when he became a teenager and started noticing that his peers were all wearing the latest fashions. He demanded that his mother got them for him, too. In her wisdom, she handed him her paycheck and asked him to pay the bills and then buy what he needed with the rest. To his astonishment, her wages barely paid the bills. At that moment, he recognized her struggles and a deep love and appreciation filled his heart for the woman who loved him so much. He also had a new admiration and respect for her and from that day forward, he labelled her a financial genius.
Sonya Carson had learned the art of living within her means; hence, it was easy for her to prioritize when it came to her family. This is a lesson that some of us need to learn and practice daily. It requires the discipline of budgeting and committing to it. If something is not in the budget, you simply cannot have it. You must be willing to sacrifice the fleeting pleasure now for the substantial things later on in life. Set financial goals and stick to them. Life’s emergencies will occur therefore it is necessary to put aside set amount of money to cover periods of unemployment, sickness or even death.
Managing debts
We are to owe no man nothing but to love them, Romans 13:8. Unfortunately, many of us are saddled with unnecessary debts because we fall victim to the “eye see, I get mentality”. We covet others for their discipline with money, while we are bent on living the high-maintenance life. That’s the sacrifice you have made for yourself and you must be willing to accept the consequences of your actions, which is just several depreciated items, whether, high-end fashion, cars, gadgets, or entertainment at the end of the day. When the debt collector knocks, we become stressed and depressed, which can lead to other chronic illnesses later in life. The antidote to this is to develop a healthy mindset about money and you will have money. Think about money as a friend or foe. When you learn to appreciate money, it becomes your friend because you will spend it wisely.
On the flip side, money becomes an enemy when we spend it foolishly.
For those of us who have fallen through the net and are way over our heads in debt, there is hope for you. You can begin to tackle your debt on your own or with the help of financial advisors. First, you need to know the total amount of debt owed and to whom you owe them. Secondly, contact your creditors and work out a payment arrangement. Determine how long it will take you to pay off your debt and make a commitment to pay them off and stay out of debt. Sometimes this might mean taking on another job or a side hustle that will bring in the extra money you need to put yourself in a favourable financial position.
How you spend your money matters
Everything we own comes from God, the greater giver: our money, time and talents. He expects us to use them for the greater good of humanity. Are your investing your money time and talents wisely or do you squander it on this world’s goods? I am sure that many of us have blown an entire paycheck on a shopping spree and then regret it later. I too have done some spontaneous spending, and I suffered from making those rash decisions. Think carefully before you open your wallet.
What a wise friend taught me about money?
I remember when I left college I got my first job early. I ended up at the same company where a friend of mine in management worked. My hiring was not influenced in any way by him because he didn’t know I had applied for a job there. I rented a furnished apartment that was very pricey and I paid about 65% of my salary at the time on rent. I was always in a bind each month. One month I asked my friend for a loan. He started by asking me a series of questions. How long have you been working with the company? What are your expenses? How much have you saved? My response to the latter was nothing. He said I should have been saving at least 10% of my income every month. He politely said goodbye and hung up. I was left fuming! I couldn’t understand what he was trying to tell me although I had graduated with a degree in Business Administration with an emphasis in accounting. It bothered me he didn’t help and for a while; I was mad at him. After a while, I gave our conversation some thought, and I finally understood the principle behind his decision. He would not enable me to continue to squander my hard-earned money because he wanted me to become financially independent. A friend will always tell you the truth. I not only learned a valuable lesson, but I put it into action and when I was ready to purchase the first car I had saved up 50% and only needed financing for the rest. I have made many mistakes, but; I am now at a place where I strive to live within my means because I feel that when I manage my money; I am honoring my creator, God!
In recent times the news has been a buzz about self-care because people are realizing how important self-care is to their well-being. Self-care means you’re present and doing the little things that nurture, nourish, and makes you feel great about yourself. It could be as simple as carving out the time to take a shower, groom your hair, brush your teeth, and eat a healthy meal or include at least one healthy food in your diet at each meal. Self-care is about managing yourself and your emotions.
Self-care is so important because it is the first step in defeating depression. When we take the time to care for ourselves, we are loving ourselves and when we love ourselves it is harder for us to become depressed. Self-love is also the pathway to accepting God’s love and love from our families, friends, and fellowmen. Self-care contributes to a healthy boost in self-confidence which empowers us to create the future we want and the discipline to set goals and stick to them. It also helps us to make the right choices and tough it out when life gets challenging instead of folding under or running away. It inspires us to expect more from ourselves and others, creating our opportunities by looking for the open doors and walking through them right away. However, sometimes it is necessary to pry the door open so that we can get noticed or promoted to better jobs we are qualified for.
Self-care helps us feel better about ourselves hence we show up looking and feeling good and this brings an abundance of light into our soul which chases the darkness away. Did you know one sign of depression is a lack of self-care? When we do not love ourselves, we show up looking anyhow and it is extremely difficult to care for ourselves. Many of us secretly suffer from depression because we have lost the will to be kind to ourselves. Self-care is simple all it takes is a willingness to do a bit of the hard things every day. Some are clinically depressed and will need help through therapeutic interventions or even medication. However, it takes effort to get to where you want to go and you must turn up to counselling, take part in therapy and take the medication if necessary.
According to Psychology Today (2021), self-care is doing the things that you would rather put off because they make you uncomfortable. It’s about accepting personal failures, and relationships that let you down and becoming determined to find new strategies. It’s about forgiving those who wronged us, letting go of that which you cannot control or change with acceptance. It’s also about being willing to disappoint some people by ending toxic relationships. Self-care can also be about putting your life on hold to care for someone in need and at other times just putting yourself above those who are very demanding of your time. Ultimately, it is about living the life you choose on your terms instead of sleepwalking through it.
Self-care is taking it easy on yourself instead of always pushing yourself to be perfect. It’s about letting your house remain messy when you are tired of cleaning or don’t have the time. It is about knowing yourself and understanding what drives you to decide what changes are important for your life. Self-care is not about believing that you must be constantly busy to feel important as this will lead to burn-out and lead to self-sabotage. It is about taking the time to care for you when there is brokenness in your life that needs fixing. When you care for yourself, you realize that loving yourself and being compassionate might help you solve most of your problems Psychology Today, (2021).
When you care for yourself, you are the winner instead of the loser. You create a life you truly enjoy instead of the one that you hate. It is not creating a fake life but one that aligns with who you are. Sometimes it will mean giving up some of your goals to live a more balanced life. It’s choosing to decide from a place of calm and peace that will be long-lasting. It is looking to yourself to meet your own needs instead of others Psychology Today, (2021).
Self-care is living an authentic and meaningful life. It’s having an awareness of the benefits of a nice massage or green juice to enhance life but not as escapism.
According to Napoleon Hill, “you’re the total of your most dominating or prominent thoughts. If 90% of your thoughts are negative, you will be negative most of the time. Our thoughts can make us or break us. They can also help us stay committed to our goals, and relationships or sabotage them. Our thoughts can make us sick, and they can help us get well. They can make us rich or poor. Although material wealth can come about, I am referring to that richness of spirit that gives you a sense of calmness, peace, and trust that makes you feel rich though poor.
Our mental health is under constant attack, especially since the onset of Covid and all its derivatives. People are still walking as though they are on tenterhooks, waiting for the next disaster to strike or fearing the inevitable. This was a very traumatic experience for most of us, and many are still reeling from its effects especially those who fell ill from the virus and the long recovery path. Several are still carrying holes in their hearts from the loss of a loved one while some are still struggling with survivor’s guilt. People were already feeling the pressure and on top of everything, prices have skyrocketed on almost all consumer goods and services, leaving them to bear the heavy burden. Also, many are unemployed, which has resulted in the loss of income and adds to the stress of daily living. It takes a toll on individuals and families everywhere as they struggle to stay alive. The world has drastically changed in the last few years, and we are all feeling the pinch. With everything that is going on, it is hard to stay positive when everything appears to be gloomy right now.
Satan is incessantly trying to destroy our minds by relentlessly bombarding us with useless side chatter. We must learn how to tune them out by focusing on the main talk, which is the voice of the Holy Spirit. How many times have you found yourself in a church, at a meeting or at a lecture where you are trying to focus on the speaker, but there is so much side talk it is almost impossible to hear the message? Have you ever thought that there is something you could do about it, or do you just give up? This goes on in our minds daily. The simple answer is to focus your attention on the voice of the key speaker and make it your priority. This can be difficult initially, but over time it gets easier as the mind become trained to tune out the unpleasant things and focus its attention on positive things. The devil wants our minds, and he is constantly waging battles against our mental health. Let us strive to put God at the forefront always and His Holy Spirit will help us guard our thoughts by filtering the lies that the devils tell us about God, others, and ourselves.
HOW DO WE GUARD OUR MINDS?
Planning our day wisely by starting with the word of God and meaningful prayers (Psalm 5:1-4).
Pray for wisdom from the Holy Spirit to keep our eyes, ears and hearts open to discern, hear, and understand the word (Psalm 119:18).
Apply the word of God to our lives daily relying on the Holy Spirit to guide us in interpreting scriptures (Psalm 143: 8-12)
Resist the desire to think or speak negative thoughts
Keep a joyful song of praise in your heart and a smile on your face even when you don’t feel like it.
Love and forgive everyone because it is the right thing to do.
Some time ago I wrote a post titled, Who am I? Hopefully, most of us have already answered that question and are at least contemplating the next steps. I thought I would help you along the way by asking the next question, which is the second on my list from three years ago. Why am I here?
We are living in a very interesting time in earth’s history. One in which life appears to be moving at lightning speed with the help of technology. Coupled with this are the endless possibilities at one’s fingertip for living your life to the fullest. You are here because you are very special. You are here because you were born with a purpose. One that is so great that it will take a lifetime to accomplish. Let’s think about the circumstances of your being here, at this moment, in this world of chaos, strife, and uncertainties. Maybe you came about as the result of a one-night stand, or rape, or maybe your parents were deeply in love and the result is the resilient, beautiful, and awesome you!
The events of your life are important
It doesn’t matter how you came into this world. Whether you were born naturally or by other means, you survived nine long months in the womb and the trauma of the birth canal. You were determined to thrive therefore; you popped your head out right on time and cried. It was your way of announcing to the world that you were here and that you will not be silenced. Immediately, you had the attention of everyone who was running at your bidding, doctors and nurses, to pronounce you healthy. You had the biggest smile from your mama as she welcomed you into the world. Cradling you in her arms while swaddling you with love and the warmth of her breast. You grabbed hold of that breast and had your first meal outside of the womb. After all, you knew exactly what to do, because you were born with the intelligence to do so.
Preparation for life
Welcome to the training ground of this life. You were born a baby, but we do not expect you to remain there. You were meant to explore your surroundings, become curious, question things, figure out how stuff works and earn social and relationship-building skills. Humans were created to live harmoniously with each other and the universe by caring for each other and our environment. You are here because you have a purpose to be fulfilled. What matters most is how you spend your time here and the legacy that you will leave for future generations. We were not born to occupy space. We came fully equipped with everything that we need to function here on earth. God who created us gave us gifts, talents and a brain that is superior to all the computers that modern man can make. He wants us to use our gifts and talents for the betterment of humanity. We are called to make an impact in this world; therefore, we should seek out those opportunities that are rewarding, honest, and efficacious and throw ourselves into them for the sole purpose of making the lives of the future generation better.
Pain with a purpose
We were created for God’s pleasure, and He delights in us and our sincere worship. However, He didn’t provide us with an all-expense paid pass in this life because He knows what is best for us. The joy and pains are measured to keep us on the path of righteousness and truth. Many of us have experienced intense pain and suffering in our lives at some point. These are just stumbling blocks on the way to greatness. When we have endured the furnace of this life, it will equip us with the resilience that is necessary to help us spearhead and advance the cause that we are passionate about and for which we were chosen. You will have tribulations but be of good cheer I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)
When your life has a purpose, you will experience pain. Most times the pain is unbearable, however, it brings forth joy as any mother will tell you. After hours of laboring, filled with anguish and excruciating pain, the voice of crying signals that a new life has sprung forth and that labor has ended. (John 16:21) The mother’s heart rejoices with love, gratitude and appreciation for this child that she carried for nine months and that is now the excellent fruit of her labor.
The testing
Similarly, college requires a series of exams that tests one’s competency at different levels. Although you went in as a Freshman they expect you to advance to the various levels, Sophomore, Junior and eventually Senior. This is the most critical part of the journey because this is where the true test begins. There is a final exam and you will be tested on everything you have learned, hence the make-or-break moment. Many have persevered and received their rewards of accolades, honors, and awards, while others failed to make their mark because they simply were not prepared for college life. There is life after college that is filled with endless possibilities; advanced education, high-paying jobs, promotions, social and economic status, fame, fortune and maybe just about anything this world offers. Is this enough?
Our lives are not accidents
Nothing occurs in our lives by accident it was divinely appointed. Even the horrendous and evil things that were designed to destroy us. Although painful and vicious, they teach us persistence, patience, resilience and perseverance, which is the stock that great men and women are made of. When we study the Bible, we come across many great men and women who were severely tried and tested. Moses was an innocent child. He did nothing wrong yet because of Pharoah’s edict against all children under two years old, his life was in grave danger. His parents, through wisdom, placed their three months old son in a basket on the river. He was young and defenceless and to the human, his fate would be death from river monsters or drowning. However, God, who controlled all circumstances, send him help in the nick of time. His rescuer was not an ordinary person but the king’s daughter. She had compassion for him and raised him as a prince in the palace, which was prepared by God as a training ground for greatness. (Exodus 2: 1-10)
Paul the apostle prosecuted Christians with great zeal. This he did out of ignorance. God called him on the road to Damascus and he repented. He became one of the most influential ministers of the gospel, a prolific writer and proponent of the Gospel message. They also persecuted him with the same zeal he had when he oppressed God’s people. (Acts 22:1-10)
It doesn’t matter where you are on the path of life. Whether you are on the off-track, sidetrack, or beaten track, you are important and have so much potential. There is still time for you to accomplish the dream that was created for you by your Father, God. Here’s my hand. Let me help you along the way.
The holidays are over and many of us have gone overboard on spending excessively on expensive gifts, gadgets, and vacations. I became caught up a bit in the trap and indulged myself with a couple of gifts that I thought I deserved. Now I am paying for them while closing all the gaps to avoid any repetitive behavior. You might ask, how do I do this? Simply by using cash to pay for everything, sticking to my budget and refusing to use credit unless I have the money in my account to pay it off. Many of us are spending our paycheck before receiving it. No wonder we are always in debt. As a result, many of us have found ourselves in the proverbial hole, broke and stressed out from maxed-out credit cards with high-interest rates. These irrational behaviors not only affect our mental health but that of our entire family as tempers flare because there is not enough money for food or paying the bills.
ROOT CAUSES OF OVERSPENDING
There is often a root cause that is associated with compulsive behaviors. According to Neuropsychology Review, compulsive behavior is repetitive acts that are identified as having the feeling that you must do something, although you know these acts are detractors from your goals. Developing positive money habits starts in the mind because this is where our thoughts originate. Each day we decide about our lives by the things we do with our money. How we spend our money speaks volumes about our mental health. Have you ever observed that when someone is hurting, the first thing they will do is buy something, whether ice cream, clothing or something else, which they think will numb the pain? These are distractions for the real reason behind our hurt and pain. Have you ever stopped to think about the pain and your feelings surrounding it? This is a great place to start. Acknowledging our feelings and working through them with the help of a friend or a professional counselor. When our minds are unhealthy, it is very difficult to be consistent in our behavior.
Some of us grew up in dire poverty where we lacked everything that money could buy and this creates an indifference towards money and spending. No one taught you how to have a positive relationship with money because there was barely enough to buy food. Therefore, it creates a desire to earn money to satisfy the lack of those things they deprived you of while growing up. Once you are old enough to earn money, your thoughts become focused on buying goods and services to satisfy the perceived lack. There is nothing wrong with this. However, savings should start immediately because your focus should be on creating a different future than the one you had. Designer clothing, cars, and gadgets will depreciate. However, solid savings or investment funds will appreciate. Guess what? You will have all the money you need to splurge on anything you need because you have earned it. You will be the lender instead of the borrower.
They taught those who had access to great wealth from an early age the principle of savings. Some affluent parents gave birthday presents of stocks and bonds to their children. This is a prime example of teaching them how to invest in their future at an early age. Most of them developed a healthy relationship with money. However, some fall prey to addictive behaviors; eating disorders, drugs, and sex addictions because their childhood might have been disruptive. They felt their needs for love and busy parents who were more interested in creating wealth than parenting ignored them. Therefore, they indulged them with high-end gifts, such as toys, cars, designer clothing, and took expensive exotic vacations where they invited their business partners along while they left the children unmanaged. Thus, they develop a very unhealthy relationship with money and indulge in negative practices, which serves as a mask for the scars they had.
CREATING A BALANCE BETWEEN SPENDING AND SAVING
First, we must have an excellent knowledge of the benefits and rewards of money and also the negative effects of money. To do this, one must determine their motive for spending or saving money. One must carefully evaluate whether the benefit of purchasing a certain product outweighs saving. It is worthwhile giving it some thought by considering the implications of purchasing that item. Here are some questions you might ask yourself before spending money on small or large purchases. Can I afford this item? Do I need to spend this money right now? How important is this to me? Is it within my budget? What am I giving up to get this? Is it better to purchase something of a lesser value? When buying large items, it would be a good idea to plan the purchase by saving towards it. Only purchase it when you have saved up enough money to do so, otherwise, you will become saddled with high-interest credit card debts that will take years or a lifetime to repay. A good rule of thumb is if you are struggling to pay your bill, then you cannot afford to buy anything unless it is a dire emergency.
HOW DO WE GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION
We must develop a healthy relationship with money by recognizing its value and also the power of money. When we are in control of our finances, it gives us a sense of peace and security because we never have to worry about having enough money to take care of our responsibilities. However, when we squander our money mindlessly, we are devaluing money. When we save and give to those in need, money appreciates.
I am not a financial guru. However, I have based my suggestions on my observation and my experience with money. It is always a good idea to be mindful of your income and your expenditure. Never spend more than you earn. Instead, cut back on something or deprive yourself of buying that new item of clothing, furniture or dining out and save that money because it is a better decision.
CREATING WEALTH
Save a penny, earn a penny! Let savings become a routine in your life. Try to save something from each paycheck. It might be just $5 or $10, but it adds up. Don’t charge it, pay it! It is better to settle for a peanut butter sandwich than a prime steak that will burn you later.
Focus on your feelings and try to identify what is the real reason behind the thought to overspend. It is not about loving money, but about loving what money can do for you. It relieves stress by taking the pressure out of living because you are not in debt and are in charge of your income.
My name is Diana and I am no stranger to mental health. I too struggled with mental health issues for a considerable part of my life. As a child, I was often depressed and moody and this continued into adulthood. At first, I had no idea what was happening to me. I did not have any information available nor did I know where to go for help. Therefore I repressed my emotions and became a sugar addict. I ate everything from candy, cakes, pies, ice cream, and other sweet treats to numb the pain I often felt at times. This went on for many years until I had a conversation with a friend who told me she was in therapy. She was smart, beautiful and always looked very happy. I asked her the reason for this and she said she had issues from her childhood and family life that needed to be addressed. She also suggested that I too see a counselor. At first I thought of it as a joke and I laughed it off. However, after giving it some thought I decided to call the counselor and schedule an appointment. I remember my first appointment like it was yesterday. I told the counselor that nothing was wrong with me and that my friend suggested I should see her and that I am doing it to please her. She questioned me about myself and I started crying and she kept handing me the tissue. This continued for about three sessions when I was finally able to talk and this was the turning point. Since then I have seen other counselors with whom I have worked on different issues. Also, I earned a degree in Psychology last year and it was very cathartic for me and now I am in a happier place!
We are living in the age of consumerism, where technology has made it easier for us to have anything from a pin to an anchor at the click of a button. Our minds are constantly engaged with unwanted information from our televisions, images flashing on our computers, and even junk mail. This amount of information overwhelms the mind, making it difficult to concentrate on important things. The mind becomes easily influenced as it spins out rapid thoughts that often bear no semblance of reality.
We constantly feel as if they invaded our lives, as we spend more than we earn, develop unhealthy eating habits, insomnia, and immoral activities. These pursuits bring no satisfaction but emptiness to our souls. We know we are unhappy, yet we are powerless to make changes. Hence, our minds continue to drive us even to the brink of insanity. Anxiety and frustration set in while we contemplate how to take back the reins of our lives.
Hence, we are stuck in a place frequently travelled by many where the mind gallops at breakneck speed. It quickly transitions from one idea to the next without giving you time to mull it over. There appears to be a controlling force propelling us without our consent. Sometimes we become depressed and stressed as we wrestle to calm our minds to give us a sense of balance. However, the rate at which it is going makes it very difficult to keep up and causes restlessness. We become like robots instead of the free-willed humans we are.
The subtle things that interfere with the functioning of the mind also disable the body. We are mind, body, and spirit, and our mind dictates what the body does. Do you need help to tame your wandering mind? Turn to the word of God. In (Philippians 2:5-11), Paul encouraged us to let the mind of Jesus be in us. What does this mean? It means following in the footsteps of Jesus; getting to know Him through His word, humbling ourselves, confessing our sins, repenting, adapting a servant mentality, and living simply. Jesus has already given us peace in (John 14:27). We will only partake of this peace when we live by the word of God!
