As I reflected on the adage, “belief kill and belief cure”, I felt impressed to tune into my own beliefs and after deep thoughts and reflections, I came up with these:
We are standing on the edge of a brand-New Year 2023! For many of us, our lives have been at a standstill for years. How do we pull ourselves up from where we are to live out our best life instead of just getting through the next year? It takes the ultimate sacrifice; something that is uncomfortable but necessary. What are you willing to sacrifice this year so that you can live a happier and healthier life in 2023? Each year we make resolutions that we are not resolute to keep and are often abandoned before it starts. What sacrifice did you make for yourself in 2022? Mine was seven weeks off from work and school. I was under a lot of stress and completely exhausted and health issues didn’t make it easier. I needed to be present for me. I followed one of my passions and reconnected with myself, my friends, and my family, and also spent more time with God. During this time amazing things happened, my mind was calmer and relaxed and I felt a peace that I have not experienced in years. It felt like a spiritual rebirth and I want my life to be like this every day of my life. There were no calendars, or deadlines my life came to a complete halt and I spent each day in a meaningful way just doing the things I wanted to do for me. It was a bold move and I couldn’t afford it but then I couldn’t afford to.
God made us for His pleasure (Revelations 4:11), and He doesn’t want us to stress out ourselves with this world’s expectations of us instead of following our heart, using the talent and gifts He bequeathed to us, and doing what we think is best for us. Whatever you are struggling with or think you must have it is not worth sacrificing your health and well-being for any material gain. What shall it profit a man if he gains the world…( Mark 8:36-38). Start honoring yourself by doing more of those things that improve your health and well-being, reverse those lifestyle diseases or genetic diseases handed down to you from your parents and fore-parents. Strive to become a better human being; mentally, spiritually, socially, and emotionally. Let us make ourselves proud in 2023 by spreading deep joy, light, peace, and exuberance wherever we go and to whomever, we meet. Let’s determine to have a solid sacrificial year for ourselves.
When we honor ourselves by taking care of our bodies which are the temple of the Holy Spirit, God honors us. It was amazing how God took great care of me and I had no lack. It was a joyous time for me. I experienced healing on a physical, mental and spiritual level. God wants to give us His best, however, He wants us to do an inventory of our lives and see how we have been using the time He gave us and see what we have reaped from the many bad investments we have made; financial, emotional, and physical. Start by making simple changes that will enable you to have a calmer life, by being kind to yourself and keeping well! Have an exhilarating New Year!
According to Loa Tzu, the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. I boldly took that first step on July 20, 2021! Although I was not new to social media, there was something different about this one.I was opening myself to the scrutiny of the world and it was terrifying. I bravely uploaded my first post, entitled WHO AM I which was the deep reflection and longings of my soul. As I contemplated, in retrospect, it occurred to me that there might be others around the world who are wrestling with the same question. From its inception, I knew exactly what messages I wanted to bring to the world. I wanted to write articles that invoked deep introspection; messages of hope, faith, love, belief in God and loving Him as we love ourselves and others.
This ministry’s purpose is to bring hope to the oppressed, downtrodden, incarcerated, divorced, widowed, abused, those who are struggling with substance use and alcohol addictions, brokenhearted and the sick who are struggling with chronic illnesses for which doctors can find no cure. Whatever difficulties or challenges you are facing today, just know that your Father, God, and fellow humans who care deeply about you want the best for you and appreciate you.
Let’s not forget that in this life, we will encounter difficulties and pain. (John 16:33). We take the consolation that there will be a new world wherein dwelleth all righteousness. A world where there will be no more sickness, pain, death, separation, isolation, or wars but love, joy, and peace. (Revelation 21). Let’s begin our preparation by taking care of each other until the return of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
You, my ardent supporters, and frequent readers are the reason Heartplushands continue to evolve and thrive. Many of you have not only read but shared my posts with others around the globe. It is because of your commitment, despite the many other things which are competing for your attention, that our ministry continues to succeed.
Today we celebrate a monumental milestone, one of boldness, perseverance, and determination. Thank you for your love, prayers and support throughout the year and years to come.
HEARTPLUSHHANDS IS One-year-old!!! Stay tuned, there are amazing things in store!
Father, whether he is a monster, gangster, deadbeat or sweet. He is still a dad. Whether we like it, we are products of our fathers and imprinted with their DNA. I am sure that sometimes some of us wish we could choose our fathers. However, we must be thankful for being here as, without dads, it would not have been possible. The Bible speaks about honoring our father and mother and there is a blessing attached to this; long life. Deuteronomy 5:16
My dad passed away recently, and the news of his death directed a punch straight to the gut. The death of a parent can be very devastating. Guess what? There will be a resurrection day when the dead in Christ will arise 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17.
He was far from being the perfect father, yet as I reflected on my dad, I tried to focus on the few pleasant memories I shared with him. I remember being age two and lying on his chest in the back room where I felt special, safe, comforted, and loved. Later I found out the room belonged to him because it was his addition to grandma’s house. I will forever cherish that memory. He continued to express his love to me by having me sit on his knees, bragging about my smartness and saving the last bite of his evening meal for me. My confidence level soared because dada loved me. He was also hardworking, business savvy, confident, resilient, fearless and secretly I admired his bravado within the community.
However, I started noticing that my dad had a dual personality when I was about 6 or 7 years old. He would come home late, slurring his words, become loud and boisterous and he would break my mother’s chinaware which belonged to grandma, curse, and hit mom. I would freeze in horror as I felt powerless. I believe this was where I lost my voice because I was so afraid of the man I called dad. It took me years to figure out what made my dad so violent during this time, then I started hearing words like drunk, drinking and alcohol. I was terrified of the persona that took him over when he was drunk and often hated what he did to my mother when he was in his state.
Usually, alcoholics have little or no recollection of their violent behavior after binge drinking. Hence, the behavior is repeated each time they become drunk. Drinking doesn’t drown your sorrows away, it shrinks your brain, causing impairment to the frontal lobe, and that damage remains forever, although you might quit at some point. Don’t start drinking because alcohol will damage your life and the lives of those you love. Get high on applying your heart to wisdom by reading the word of God. Do good to others and become involved in community activities such as planting and beautification, as it does great wonders for the body and mind. Join a 12-step program. Go for a hike and redefine your purpose and if you don’t know what your purpose is, ask God and He will tell you! Stay away from alcohol and drugs because they steal the very thing you’re looking for peace of mind, leaving you with destruction along the path Proverbs 20: 1-3.
Alcohol shattered my home and my life because I felt unsafe and was often terrified of my father, the man I once loved and revered. When he was drunk, he looked like another being took him over completely, resulting in physical and emotional abuse. Knowing that my father could hurt me and my siblings, the people he was supposed to love and protect damaged my soul. I secretly resented my father and would seethe in rage whenever he would hit me. My confidence in him shattered, and it took years to rebuild this.
From a very young age, I recognized the need for an escape route to protect me from all the anxiety I suffered and that, for me, was reading. I wanted to know more about life and the world beyond where I lived. Hence, I read everything I could find and often lost myself in the pages while dreaming about what my better life could be. As a result, I became an avid reader, and he started paying attention to this because he felt proud, especially when my teachers told him how excellent my reading skills were. Since he couldn’t read, he would ask me to read the Psalms to him and his business documents. Of course, mom could read but he wanted his daughter to read to live. Hence him. By now he had given up the alcohol and things were calmer at home and I started opening my heart to him again. However, he changed again and this time I didn’t know the reason. My resentment turned to hate, and it was so strong that he noticed it and told me at 15 that I hated him. By this time, our relationship was nonexistent, and I was happy to leave home at 17 with his permission.
Although I was free, I didn’t know who I was because the physical and psychological abuse over the years had shattered my identity. It filled me with anger and rage, which I put to productive use. I started planning the future I envisioned for myself while often spending time alone in deep contemplation. I knew I didn’t want the life I’d left behind and vowed never to go back, no matter how rough it got. I was building resilience over the years unknowingly, and it’s that resilience that has brought me through many difficulties in my life. I still had issues with belonging because my self-worth was below zero. As a result, I encountered many abusive situations along the way. Eventually, I went to college, and this was a huge struggle for me because I felt like a social misfit. Hence, I isolated myself from everyone except one true friend who had earned my trust over the years. At 22, I decided it was time to confront my dad and off I went to see him. It was a Saturday mid-morning, and he wasn’t expecting me. Fears of the past engulfed my mind, and my knees shook violently beneath me. However, I had gone a long way and was determined to find the path to healing from all the trauma experienced, and somehow I felt it began with him.
He came to the door, and I unleashed all my anger on him until there were no words left. He seemed quite calm and composed while he listened to my tirade, which was more like a torpedo. Although scared, I did it anyway. He never said a word and when I had finished, he asked me if I was hungry, and I said yes. Since it was noon, he said it was his prayer time and invited me to pray with him. I knelt at the bedside while he prayed. I don’t remember the prayer, but I felt peace, and I knew that my healing had started. He fixed lunch, and we ate and chatted lightheartedly, and that very day all the stored-up anger and hate dissipated. Some men do not understand the importance of a father’s love for a little girl or boy and how reassuring and empowering that is. No longer did I feel defeated, but powerful. My confidence was restored, and I looked forward to speaking with my father and our playful banter throughout our lives.
When I turned 40, my father told me he loved me for the first time and my heart swelled with love and reciprocity. He even shared the moment we had together that I mentioned earlier. I still don’t have it all figured out, but I know that I’m learning how to stay grounded while creating calm and peace. A place where the focus is on building instead of breaking. A place of strength and boldness. A healthy place where there is deep self-care and deep compassion for me and others.
For every little girl, boy, teenager, man or woman out there who was wounded by their father through substance use, abandonment, psychological and physical abuse, sexual abuse, separation or divorce, I want to assure you it is not your fault. You’re beautiful, bold, loved, and strong. You will get through this because you have a heavenly Father who loved you first and still loves you. (Psalm 27:10) Just ask Him to forgive you of any resentment, hate or guilt and open your mind to forgiving your dad and find that space in your heart to connect with him again. If your father is no longer here, visit his grave or an aunt, or uncle and just empty your heart to them. Cry, pray and do whatever you must do to release yourself from the prison of trauma, bitterness and unforgiveness.
You can’t change what happened to you. However, you can change the way you think about it and how you live your life starting today. I wish you love, peace, strength, inner beauty, and wisdom today, every day and forever. Let the healing begin now because it starts with you taking the first step! I have shared my story. How about you? I would love to hear from you!
Aristotle, the renowned Greek Philosopher said happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and the end of human existence.
Happiness is not a blank check on which you get to write any amount you want. For some people, the natural inclination would be to go out and blow it on some luxurious item that they think equates to being happy. Happiness is the elixir of life. It is a state of bliss where one experiences peace, enjoyment, fulfilment and calmness despite their circumstances. Many people have found it and are living their lives with purpose and meaning. However, some still do not know what happiness is and spend countless years chasing after it. They become fixated on the acquisition of more material goods, only to find themselves right where they started. Disillusionment often creeps in, forcing them to accept the notion that happiness is just an elusive dream. What they cannot realize is that material things are only temporary and do not bring long-lasting happiness.
Happiness is not a feeling. It is a choice that you make each day, followed by a determination to experience life in a new way by living uninhibited. It is a commitment that you make with yourself daily to walk on the path of happiness. Hence, upon awakening, you create the mindset to be happy despite the unforeseen that will always creep up to disrupt your plans and cause chaos. Cheerful people are always grateful and rarely complain about anything. Happiness is that state of mind you will achieve when you are in tune with your body – accepting of yourself, committing to goals and having a willingness to be content with whatever state you are in. It means loving yourself, your limitations, thankfulness, and striving each day to live a positive and fulfilled life.
Health Benefits ofHappiness
When we are happy, our bodies respond positively by releasing healthy endorphins which are healing to the body and mind. Happiness prevents depression, sadness, outbursts of anger, envy, jealousy, and strife. When we operate from a place of happiness, it makes us more forgiving and accepting of other people’s flaws. Also, we love, respect, and show kindness and compassion to others. Happiness fuels our passion and love for life. It energizes us to get out of bed each morning to do the things that will create joy and well-being in our lives.
Happiness increases longevity and makes us look younger and longer. Our bodies function better when we are happy. A calm and peaceful state optimizes digestion, hence our bodies receive the nourishment it needs from the foods we eat. When we are happy, it helps our parasympathetic nervous system to perform better. The functions of the parasympathetic nervous system are monitoring and effectively maintaining our heart rate, blood pressure, weight control, and hormone regulation, and allowing us to have that deep REM sleep the body needs for healing and repair.
Pursuing Happiness
Happiness is like a well springing from deep inside the ground, flowing outward and providing a continual stream of water. Happiness is invigorating and exuberant. Since we are in control of our happiness, we must work hard at creating and maintaining it. To do this, we must begin by taking the time to discover our gifts, talents, and passions and actively pursue them. For some, it will mean letting go of bad habits, parting ways with some close ties, or even breaking off toxic long-term relationships. Since we can only realize happiness when we are at total peace, these steps are necessary. This will be a period of enlightenment as we become reacquainted with our innate selves. Many of us have been living the dreams of our parents, teachers, spouses, and even friends. Often, we lose ourselves because of the unrealistic demands that they place on us. They also impose their values, forcing us into conformity. For years, we carry the burden and stress of pleasing them at the cost of our self-worth. It’s time to break free from all those negative dynamics by reclaiming and charting the course of your life. Keep moving in the direction where your heart is leading, because this is where your happiness begins.
Tips for Maintaining Happiness
Practice thinking healthy, wholesome, and positive thoughts throughout each day. Resist the urge to dwell on negativity that will not only depress you, but others, too. Do not give negative thoughts any room because you will be stuck with them. However, if you find those thoughts becoming overpowering, I recommend reaching out to others such as family, trusted friends, or a trained counsellor for help. Banish doom and gloom, and learn to see the positive in everything. Everyone feels down sometimes and it’s normal. However, do not allow it to prolong. Instead, shift the mood by going for a walk, connecting with the people in your life, visiting the mall nearest to you, or getting out and treating yourself to an enjoyable meal. Avoid negative and critical people because it will only be a matter of time before you adopt their ways, which will be to your detriment. Happy people love being around others. As a result, they enjoy spending time with family and friends and socializing with others. Therefore, surround yourself with a group of cheerful people from whom you can draw strength and inspiration during your downtime. Remember, you are responsible for your happiness; therefore, do not expect anyone to do everything for you. Cheerful people attract those who are like-minded.
One of my Greatest Happy Moments
I have experienced periods of great happiness in my life despite some very traumatic events. However, I want to share one that has shaped the person I am today. The happiest moment of my life was when I graduated from college. It was a very special day for me because I dared to venture into a place where no other family member had gone. My college life was hard in every way and often I came close to quitting, but I kept persevering. I was overjoyed because I had triumphed, and the victory was sweet. My friends were there to celebrate with me and cheer me on. I could hear their resounding applause as I went forward to collect my degree. My college degree meant everything to me – freedom from financial constraints, independence, and the accomplishing of my other dreams. I had a job waiting for me as well and I was so happy nothing could have gotten me down. It was a jubilant day for me, and the memory is still vivid in my mind.
God created us to be free, and He wants us to be happy and filled with joy (John 15:11). Being happy is to be free from all the limitations that others have placed on us. I encourage you to reclaim your lives from those who have stolen them! Stand up and fight back to reconnect with your true self, as this is where happiness begins. Cheers to the true and happy you!
Do you have any happy moments in your life that you would like to share with our readers? I would love to hear them! Looking forward to reading yours!
What does it really mean to accept someone? The world is imperfect, hence no one is blameless. These flaws drive us to be insensitive, impatient, and disrespectful of others who we do not perceive as measuring up. Therefore, we become angry, judge, criticize and alienate those who we presume are imperfect. Those who think they are perfect often give others the silent rebuke. Often, they scoff at those who swear, drink, smoke, and are immoral. Family members, friends and church brethren usually suffer from these harsh rebukes.
Jesus came to call the sinners, not the righteous. (Luke 5:32). Hence, he mingled expressing love and empathy. Christians would be more effective witnesses if they adopt this principle. We must strive to love and accept others the way Jesus did. Often, it’s the life we live that will have more impact on them. Even if they never change, it is between them and God. People everywhere are struggling with guilt and shame. Many want to change, however, they lack the will to do so. When we ignore or give them accusatory glances, it plunges them further into the habit.
We must not become a stumbling block in others’ lives. (Romans 14:13-23). When we are critical of them, they become depressed and succumb to feelings of despair, hopelessness, and worthlessness. They will point the finger at us while labelling us as hypocrites. It is unnecessary to sit with them while they are smoking or doing drugs. However, we must give them the respect and human dignity they deserve.
We are our brother’s keepers. (Romans 15:1). We owe them the debt of our prayers. Stop judging and manipulating them into feeling bad about their choices. Let God be their judge! Peter was a swearer and was even after Christ called him. (Matthew 26:74-75). It is very difficult to overcome bad habits, especially when they have been a part of your life. We cannot expect people to overcome 20, 30, 40 or 50 years of bad habits in a day or even a year. They need our patience while we give them grace. They need to overcome these habits. Therefore, we must stop pointing when they slip or fall. We all have faults, criticizing, gossiping, controlling, pride, blaming, and faultfinding.
My name is Diana and I am no stranger to mental health. I too struggled with mental health issues for a considerable part of my life. As a child, I was often depressed and moody and this continued into adulthood. At first, I had no idea what was happening to me. I did not have any information available nor did I know where to go for help. Therefore I repressed my emotions and became a sugar addict. I ate everything from candy, cakes, pies, ice cream, and other sweet treats to numb the pain I often felt at times. This went on for many years until I had a conversation with a friend who told me she was in therapy. She was smart, beautiful and always looked very happy. I asked her the reason for this and she said she had issues from her childhood and family life that needed to be addressed. She also suggested that I too see a counselor. At first I thought of it as a joke and I laughed it off. However, after giving it some thought I decided to call the counselor and schedule an appointment. I remember my first appointment like it was yesterday. I told the counselor that nothing was wrong with me and that my friend suggested I should see her and that I am doing it to please her. She questioned me about myself and I started crying and she kept handing me the tissue. This continued for about three sessions when I was finally able to talk and this was the turning point. Since then I have seen other counselors with whom I have worked on different issues. Also, I earned a degree in Psychology last year and it was very cathartic for me and now I am in a happier place!
